I have a confession: Yesterday, I found myself crying on the floor in my pajamas. My laptop was open, Netflix was streaming, and for two hours, I sobbed intermittently through a movie—an Adam Sandler film, no less. I’m not sure if that’s a new low or just a part of my ongoing journey through grief.
The previous day, the 27th, marked nine months since my little girl passed away. The first six months after Lily’s death felt manageable—just another date on the calendar. However, I quickly learned that grief doesn’t adhere to a timeline. Sometimes, it’s the months that follow those early days that hit the hardest. I found myself crying on the floor with Adam Sandler, grappling with a grief that can be overwhelming.
Grief isn’t just about one loss; it’s often compounded by other life challenges—divorce, disappointment, or past traumas. Each of these losses brings its own weight, and grief is an uninvited guest that seems intent on sticking around for a while.
Here are the insights I’ve gained about grief:
- Grief Doesn’t Follow a Schedule
What I expect to be difficult often isn’t, while the unexpected moments can hit hard. The firsts, seconds, and even thirds of significant dates can bring sorrow. Eventually, you may even find yourself laughing through the tears again. Embrace those days. - Grief Can Make You Awkward
Navigating social situations becomes tricky. What should you say? How do you introduce yourself to new people? The questions swirl, and often, there are no clear answers. - Grief Removes Your Filter
You might find yourself speaking with brutal honesty, losing patience for trivial matters. Dark humor may become a coping mechanism—it’s something only those who have grieved can truly understand. - Grief Drains Your Energy
While you may want to savor every moment, your body sometimes rebels. There are days when curling up in bed with ice cream and a good movie feels like the only option. Those days are okay. - Grief Lacks Rules
Grief doesn’t care about social norms. It can lead to emotional outbursts or awkward comments. Some days, it completely drains you; other times, it pushes you toward courage and resilience. - Grief is Just One Part of You
Though loss is devastating, it does not define who you are. Grief may sit heavily upon you like a fog, but beneath it, you remain yourself—changed, yet whole. - Grief Can Feel Lonely, But You’re Not Alone
One crucial realization is that many have walked this path before me, and many will follow. I am never truly alone in my pain or in my journey toward healing. If others can survive, so can I.
If someone can cry through an Adam Sandler movie, then so can you. For more on navigating personal challenges, check out our other blog post about the at-home insemination kit.
In summary, grief is a complex and unpredictable journey that affects everyone differently. It can be isolating but knowing that others share this experience can bring solace. Remember, it’s okay to feel, cry, and even laugh as you navigate through your grief.