In recent years, I’ve come to realize that the online landscape can be quite unforgiving when it comes to feedback. A particular incident stands out in my memory. About a year ago, I was assisting my academic advisor in producing videos for an online course. Once we released the first video, a viewer left the following comment: “I hate to be negative, but Alex’s delivery is quite off-putting, which distracts from the video’s purpose. I’m sure they are intelligent and have much to offer, but they need to slow down, think before speaking, and show more confidence in their views.”
I was completely blindsided by that reaction, and the fact that a stranger was critiquing me felt very unsettling. Since then, I’ve thought a lot about how to better handle criticism. Here are six strategies that have proven beneficial:
1. Pause and Breathe
My first instinct upon reading the criticism was purely emotional; I felt hurt and angry. It’s essential to recognize that when we encounter stress or perceived threats, our bodies often react instinctively, triggering a fight-or-flight response. This reaction is useful in life-threatening situations but is excessive when facing a harsh online comment. Therefore, before reacting, take a few deep breaths and notice your physical state. This can help transition you from a state of anxiety to a more composed mindset, allowing for clearer evaluation of the feedback.
2. Value the Feedback
When faced with criticism, it’s easy to jump to negative conclusions, thinking, “This is terrible! I’ve messed up!” However, it’s important to remember that constructive criticism can be incredibly valuable. If there’s an issue with your performance—like being an unengaging presenter—acknowledging this can lead to improvement. Criticism can serve as a catalyst for personal growth.
3. Consider the Critic’s Perspective
After calming down and appreciating the potential benefits of criticism, attempt to understand the perspective of the person offering it. This shift in focus allows you to become less defensive and recognize that the critique may not be a direct attack on you. By trying to see things from their point of view, you might uncover valuable insights within their comments. For instance, I realized that my tendency to speak rapidly could indeed frustrate viewers trying to grasp my points.
4. Separate Useful from Unhelpful Comments
Most criticisms contain a mix of truth and exaggeration. It’s essential to identify the useful elements of the feedback. In my case, while I don’t believe I’m generally “irritating,” it’s true that I tend to speak too quickly. Instead of feeling the need to accept or reject the criticism entirely, we can dissect it to extract what’s helpful. My friend Jordan categorizes criticism into three types: accurate, ignorant, and emotive. For example, the comment about my confidence was based on a misunderstanding, while the feedback about my speed contained a valid point.
5. Seek Additional Perspectives
After identifying the useful elements, it’s wise to gather more opinions to assess the validity of the criticism. Is this feedback a solitary viewpoint, or do others share the same concern? When that online comment surfaced, I had already received similar feedback from trusted colleagues, which made me more inclined to take it seriously. If I had heard the opposite from others, I might have been more skeptical.
6. Create an Improvement Plan
Once you’ve gleaned something constructive from the criticism, the next step is to take actionable steps toward improvement. This might include seeking advice from others; for example, I asked friends for tips on speaking more slowly and clearly. Additionally, setting aside time for practice was vital for me as I prepared for subsequent videos. The key is to actively engage with the feedback and develop strategies for moving forward.
In conclusion, handling criticism thoughtfully can transform it into a valuable tool for self-improvement. By breathing, appreciating feedback, understanding the critic’s perspective, dissecting comments, seeking additional opinions, and planning for growth, you can use criticism to enhance your skills and confidence.
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