Last year, the complex saga of my relationship with my ovaries reached a decisive chapter: I underwent a complete hysterectomy on the same day my eldest son celebrated his birthday. It was precisely eighteen years prior that my reproductive system had played a pivotal role in bringing my first child into the world. Three years later, it had successfully helped me conceive my second child. However, a few years after that, things took an unexpected turn.
During a routine checkup, my gynecologist lightly mentioned, “You have a small cyst on your right ovary,” as if he were discussing the weather. I immediately broke down in tears. At 32, I was grappling with the challenges of being a newly single mom to two young boys while managing a full-time job from home. I was overwhelmed with responsibilities ranging from school runs to dealing with unexpected pests in my home. The last thing I needed was a health scare—especially one that began with the letter “C,” which in my mind equated to cysts and cancer.
“Don’t worry,” my doctor reassured me. “Most of these cysts resolve on their own.” Unfortunately, mine did not. Thus began a 12-year battle with my rebellious ovaries, leading to five cysts, four surgeries, one unexpected pregnancy, and a treasury of life lessons. Here are some of the most significant insights I’ve gained:
1. Life is Unpredictable.
Contrary to my doctor’s expectations, my cyst didn’t resolve itself; it became a painful nuisance that defied my plans and preparations. This experience taught me that life doesn’t always follow the blueprint we create. I learned I could either adapt with grace or resist the inevitable. I experimented with both approaches, often finding that acceptance brought more peace.
2. Adversity Builds Resilience.
As I faced multiple ultrasounds, failed treatments, and the looming prospect of surgery, fear consumed me. My history of severe allergic reactions to medication compounded my anxiety, especially after hearing about a coworker’s tragic experience with anesthesia. Ultimately, I underwent a procedure that was far more invasive than anticipated. However, emerging from that experience with a benign diagnosis empowered me immensely. I realized I possessed the strength to overcome obstacles I never thought I could face.
3. Listen to Your Instincts.
Less than a year post-surgery, a familiar pain returned, and I was sure another cyst was forming. Despite others dismissing my concerns as mere scar tissue or anxiety, I trusted my gut. Soon enough, I discovered that my intuition was correct, leading to another surgery that revealed more benign growths and endometriosis. This reinforced the importance of listening to my inner voice instead of succumbing to doubt.
4. Sometimes, It’s Okay to Vent.
Just six months after my second operation, I felt that familiar discomfort again. Frustrated by the cycle of health issues, I allowed myself a moment of exasperation. In that instance, it was acceptable to express my feelings loudly and without reservation. Whether faced with multiple surgeries or the daily chaos of life, it’s perfectly reasonable to scream out loud and let it all out.
5. What’s Meant to Be Will Happen.
Before my third surgery, I implored my doctor to remove my ovaries entirely. She wisely advised against it, suggesting I might one day want more children. I reluctantly agreed to keep one ovary, and just months later, I met a wonderful partner. To my surprise, I found myself pregnant at 40, a blessing I hadn’t anticipated. This experience taught me the beauty of life’s unexpected turns and the gratitude that comes with them.
6. Unlearned Lessons Have a Way of Repeating.
Despite my earlier experiences, I found myself facing yet another cyst at 44. The fear of surgery was overwhelming, especially as I confronted my own mortality. The stress was palpable as I waited to see whether the cyst would resolve on its own. Spoiler alert: it didn’t, leading to my eventual hysterectomy. Now, devoid of all estrogen and progesterone, I hope I’ve finally absorbed the lessons life has thrown my way.
In conclusion, my journey with my ovaries has been anything but straightforward, illustrating the unpredictable nature of life. Each challenge has imparted valuable wisdom, reminding me to trust my instincts, embrace change, and accept that some lessons may take time to learn fully.
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