As a parent, it’s natural to hope that we all share similar aspirations and worries for our children. However, as a mother of boys, I’ve noticed that our experiences can be quite distinct from those of mothers raising girls. While we often find ourselves navigating both Boy World and Girl World, there are some key differences in our concerns and perspectives. Here are six insights I, a mom of boys, wish moms of girls would consider.
1. We Don’t Make Excuses for “Boys Will Be Boys” Behavior.
We understand the importance of setting clear expectations for our sons when it comes to their interactions with girls. We strive to model healthy relationships, but we also recognize the need for our boys to express themselves in typical, developmentally appropriate ways. This sometimes means allowing them to engage in rowdy play or creating spaces just for them. However, we also know that correcting problematic behavior is essential, and we work diligently to guide our sons without shaming them in front of their peers.
2. We Share Your Concerns About Rape and Harassment.
When high-profile cases of sexual misconduct arise, the conversation often turns to a generalization of men and boys. While it’s vital to hold individuals accountable, labeling all boys as future aggressors based on their gender is harmful. We are committed to raising our sons with the understanding that they must respect women and contribute positively to society. We recognize the work that lies ahead to reshape this narrative.
3. We Oppose Unfair Dress Codes.
The ongoing discussions about dress codes that disproportionately affect girls are frustrating for us as well. We believe that clothing choices should not dictate a student’s ability to focus in school. The notion that boys are uncontrollable when faced with a bare shoulder is misguided. We want a learning environment that promotes respect and equality, where dress codes apply fairly to all students, regardless of gender.
4. We Advocate for Equal Opportunities for All Children.
We wholeheartedly support initiatives designed to empower girls, such as Girls Who Code and Girls on the Run. These programs are essential for breaking down barriers, and we believe there is ample room for all children to thrive in various fields, including STEM and athletics. Our sons should also have equal access to opportunities, and we believe diversity enriches all aspects of society.
5. We Are Raising Our Sons to Embrace Feminism.
Teaching our sons about equality and the importance of rejecting traditional gender roles is a priority for us. We encourage them to appreciate strong female figures in literature and media. We believe that male role models should champion both genders and that our sons should be comfortable embracing the term “feminist” without feeling threatened by empowered women.
6. We Sometimes Feel Isolated.
As children transition into upper elementary grades, social dynamics can shift, often leading to divisions among parents based on their children’s genders. This can make it challenging to maintain friendships with moms of daughters. While I cherish the bond with my sons, I miss the connections I had with my “girl-mom” friends. I hope that as our children grow, we can continue to support one another and keep our friendships alive, even if our kids’ interests diverge.
As a mother of boys, I want moms of girls to know that we all desire the best for our children. We hear your worries and share many of the same values. Ultimately, we’re all part of the same parenting journey.
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Summary:
Moms of boys have unique insights on parenting that mothers of girls may not fully understand. They don’t excuse problematic behavior, share concerns about sexual misconduct, oppose unfair dress codes, advocate for equal opportunities, raise their sons to embrace feminism, and sometimes feel isolated from the community. Recognizing these differences can foster better understanding and support among all parents.