Having battled anxiety and panic attacks since childhood, I’ve experienced firsthand the complexities of living with this condition. As a child, I was often perceived as well-behaved and bright, yet I was constantly plagued by the fear of being wrongly accused of things I didn’t do. Whether it was a scribble on the wall or being near a group trading cards, I felt an irrational weight of blame.
As I grew older, my anxiety morphed into various phobias, from fear of flying to anxiety in crowded spaces due to concerns about safety. In my 20s, I began exploring cognitive behavioral therapy, physical activity, meditation, and yoga. While some fears faded, new ones took their place, often intensified by the responsibilities of parenthood.
Now, my anxiety manifests differently. I grapple with the pressures of motherhood—worrying about my children being late for school, managing my health while caring for them, and ensuring we have enough financial stability. Paradoxically, I also find myself anxious about my own anxiety, which is a common struggle for many.
Anxiety often runs in families. While certain childhood experiences may have triggered it in me, I believe some of it is simply part of my personality—intense, perfectionistic, and prone to obsessive thinking. Although these traits can drive creativity and productivity, they can also lead to overwhelming feelings of dread.
On the surface, I may appear calm and composed, but beneath that facade, anxiety can feel like an ever-present storm, ready to unleash itself at any moment. The invisibility of this condition complicates matters further. It’s challenging for loved ones to understand the turmoil that often lies behind a composed exterior. When we express our fears, it’s important to recognize that dismissing them can feel invalidating.
Six Phrases to Avoid Saying to Someone Dealing with Anxiety
Here are six phrases to avoid saying to someone dealing with anxiety, along with more supportive alternatives:
- “But you don’t seem anxious.”
Many anxiety sufferers maintain a composed appearance, yet that doesn’t diminish their experience. If someone opens up about their anxiety, acknowledge it without downplaying it. - “That’s not really something to be afraid of.”
While there may be rational bases for their fears, anxiety can amplify these concerns to the point of paralysis. Reinforcing that their fears are irrational doesn’t help. - “This treatment will work for you.”
Each person’s experience with anxiety is unique. What helps one individual may not be effective for another. It’s crucial to recognize that treatments vary in effectiveness. - “Just snap out of it.”
If this were possible, we would do it in an instant. Anxiety can take days to subside after an attack, and suggesting someone simply “snap out of it” can be incredibly disheartening. - “I understand; I worry sometimes too.”
There’s a significant difference between typical worries and the overwhelming nature of anxiety attacks, which can feel all-consuming. - “But you have so much to be grateful for.”
Acknowledging gratitude doesn’t negate the real feelings of anxiety. Comparisons to others’ situations can lead to feelings of guilt rather than relief.
If you care for someone struggling with anxiety, the best approach is to listen and offer unconditional support. True listening involves setting aside judgments, minimizing distractions, and being present. Sometimes, simply placing a supportive hand on their shoulder can provide comfort.
For those who experience anxiety, it’s essential to find individuals who listen without judgment. If someone increases your anxiety or makes you feel guilty about it, it’s okay to set boundaries. Creating a nurturing environment is vital for managing anxiety, whether through therapy, exercise, or mindfulness practices. Remember, you deserve to prioritize your mental well-being.
For more information on how to manage anxiety, consider exploring resources that provide insights into effective treatments. This article offers a glimpse into the complexities of anxiety and how to navigate them.
Summary
Anxiety is a complex condition that is often misunderstood. Avoiding dismissive comments and offering genuine support can make a significant difference for those struggling with anxiety. Listening without judgment and being present can provide comfort and reassurance. Remember that everyone’s experience with anxiety is unique, and fostering a supportive environment is crucial for managing it.