As the day arrives for your firstborn to head off to college, it’s a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. You find yourself in Bed, Bath & Beyond, overwhelmed with a dorm checklist, a pounding headache, and an impending sense of panic. Load up the car with storage bins, bedding, your sense of humor, and a mountain of tissues because this is a monumental moment!
- Wow. Is this really happening? He’s leaving!
- Packing is such a chore, especially when it involves his things.
- No, you cannot survive with just one pair of flip-flops. And yes, you need more than one pair of pants.
- Did we pack everything? Oh no! He needs what?! My wallet is going to hate me.
- I refuse to make another trip to Target today. Not happening!
- There’s the dorm! I can do this. I can handle this!
- Wait, can I really do this?
- How did my mom manage to leave me here all those years ago?
- Stairs. So many stairs. Remind him that they’re not fun after a party.
- And hangovers aren’t either. Time for another talk about drinking.
- Look at all these bright kids! They seem so happy!
- And nervous. Some of them look really anxious. Do people even make eye contact anymore?
- The nervous ones are trailing behind their equally nervous parents.
- Please tell me I’m not that mom.
- I can’t possibly be old enough to have a kid in college. No way!
- That girl looks like she just graduated grade school. Will her mom really leave her here?
- That girl looks way older than her age. My husband is trying so hard not to stare.
- When did shorts become so minimal? Look away. They’re not your daughters.
- But they could be future daughters-in-law.
- But let’s not think about that… Dear God, please let him never have to deal with that yet.
- Before I go, I need to explain “no” one more time. Seriously, I’ll say it until I’m blue!
- Note for next time: Only tour all-male colleges with my next kid.
- Girls in the neighboring dorm? This is a total culture shock for me.
- The dorm laundry room? His new laundry space (snickers). One less kid’s laundry at home!
- I bet he’ll come home with every item he owns completely dirty.
- Oh hello again, Target. It’s me.
- Met his roommate. He’s super tidy and organized. This is not going to end well, but it’s out of my hands now!
- One toilet. One shower. Four 18-year-olds. Oh boy, this is going to be an adventure.
- Time to stock up on bleach.
- Resist the urge to neatly fold his towels and organize his closet. Just resist!
- I’m going to make his bed look nice. He lets me do that. Don’t cry, don’t cry!
- I want to hug him tight, but there are so many people around. He’s gotta look “cool.”
- I really can’t handle this.
- Met the roommate’s dad. He looks just as dazed as I do. We shared a look that said, “Wow, time flies!”
- Ramen, rice, canned soup. Safe bets that won’t set anything on fire, right?
- That mattress needs more padding, but at least it’s in plastic. Gross.
- Cherry blossom hand soap. Will they even use it? Ew.
- Gray. Navy. Gray. Navy. Boys don’t decorate or accessorize. This looks like a prison cell!
- Can I sneak a peek into some girls’ dorms just to “ooh” and “ahh”?
- Oh no! He’s just tossing his clothes into drawers. Deep breath. Not my dresser, not my problem!
- Other parents arguing in the hall? I don’t want to leave on a bad note. Smile and breathe.
- I really can’t do this.
- College kids today need so little. Their phones and laptops replace everything else.
- If he claims “my phone was dead,” I’m calling BS.
- Sending backup phone chargers and batteries is a must.
- Tylenol, cough syrup, and bandaids—check. He’s gonna be lost without a mom to care for him.
- Time to say goodbye!
- I can do this. I can handle this!
- Give him a big hug, tell him how proud you are, and walk out confidently. Cry only when you’re in the car.
- I did it! I dropped my kid off at college and kept it together. Now, let the tears flow—happy ones!
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