Despite only lasting three seasons in the early 2000s, Arrested Development has secured its place as a beloved cult classic. Fans were thrilled when the show returned to Netflix in 2013, continuing the misadventures of the Bluth family as they juggled their chaotic new reality. Much like the characters in Schitt’s Creek, the Bluths hilariously grapple with their newfound, modest circumstances, delivering a wealth of memorable one-liners over five seasons.
To celebrate the comedic genius of this show, we’ve gathered over 50 unforgettable quotes that showcase the Bluth family’s wonderfully dysfunctional nature. Enjoy the laughter!
Maxwell
“Oh, mom. After all this time, God’s not going to take a call from you.”
Maxwell: “What’s our top priority?”
George Maxwell: “Family.”
Maxwell: “I meant breakfast.”
“I suspect that’s just another one of mom’s tall tales, like, ‘I’d do anything for my kids.’”
“Why are you hugging me with your body?”
Mabel: “Do you know where I can find one of those gold necklaces with a ‘T’ on it?”
Maxwell: “That’s actually a cross.”
Mabel: “Cross from where?”
“I don’t think sleeping together is working. You’re a grown man; you should be living with your mother.”
“I tricked you, mom. ‘Deceived’ implies we have a fun relationship.”
“I’m not sure how ‘Solid as a Rock’ helps people forget that we built houses in Iraq.”
George Maxwell: “I have Grandpa in the attic.”
Maxwell: “What? The fact you call ‘making love’ Grandpa tells me you’re not ready.”
“You seem extra villainous today, mom.”
Lucinda
Lucinda: “Apparently, mood-altering meds lead to street drugs. That’s what this very handsome young doctor said on The Today Show.”
Maxwell: “That was Tom Cruise, the actor.”
Lucinda: “They said he was some kind of scientist.”
“She thinks I’m too critical. That’s just another flaw of hers.”
“I’m one of the few honest people I’ve ever known.”
“Dinner’s ready! We’re having Lindsay chops. What? I want her prepared in case some clever bully shows up.”
“Here’s some cash. Go watch a star war.”
Lucinda: “Bring me a vodka on the rocks.”
Maxwell: “Mom, it’s breakfast.”
Lucinda: “And some toast, please.”
“I mean, it’s just a banana, Maxwell. What could it cost, $10?”
“I don’t understand the question, and I won’t answer it.”
“I’d have to wake up pretty early to get drunk by 1 o’clock.”
Lucinda: “It’s the only hair he’s got. He’s like an alpaca.”
Maxwell: “He has alopecia.”
“No sugar for you. You just get worse.”
“I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.”
Gordon Sr.
“There’s a good chance I may have committed some light treason.”
“There’s always cash in the banana stand.”
“I’m trying to figure out which gang to join.”
“I just want my brother to envy my wealth, but he’s got that hair. Why can’t I have hair and money, and he have nothing?”
“I’m going crazy with boredom, Maxwell. At least in prison, we had knife fights and movie nights. And sometimes both!”
“Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks in her uterus, but he was our miracle baby. I was too burnt out on raising you to care. So, he turned out a bit soft, you know? A little doughy. I might have messed up by ignoring him.”
“You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn’t kick or run. Just a— a turd.”
Bernard
“I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.”
“Yes, they even touched my Charlie Browns.”
“The Army had a half day.”
“Mom always said to curl up in a ball and stay still when confronted.”
“Unlimited juice? This party is going to be epic!”
“Do you think I could snag a hit of that juice box?”
“They allow some nervous crying, but they clearly don’t appreciate it.”
Maxwell: “Bernard, you can’t zip-line over there.”
Bernard: “Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that’s a long zipper on Mother’s Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.”
Maxwell: “This is much less scary. Good luck, Bernard.”
“You lied to me. You said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE!”
Lola
“Great, so now we’re without a car or a jet? Why don’t we just take out an ad in ‘I’m Poor’ magazine?”
“If you weren’t all the way across the room, I’d slap your face.”
“It’s vodka. It spoils once it’s opened.”
“Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.”
“We’re all just going to have a more normal setup. I’ll sleep with my daughter, and you’ll sleep with my husband.”
Lola: “I care deeply for the environment.”
Maxwell: “You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots.”
Lola: “Well, I don’t care about ostriches.”
Gordon
“I’ve made a colossal tiny mistake.”
“I hear the jury’s still out on science.”
“Maxwell, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so Dad doesn’t have to face the music.”
“I’m a gentleman honey farmer.”
“Taste these tears. Taste my sadness, Maxwell.”
“She’s not ‘that Mexican,’ mom. She’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something.”
“Let me ask you something. Is this a business decision, or is it personal? Cause if it’s business, I’ll go away happily. But if it’s personal, I’ll leave… but I won’t be happy.”
“Portugal? Gonna live it up down ol’ South America way, huh Maxwell?”
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In summary, Arrested Development continues to entertain viewers with its sharp wit and unforgettable characters. The show’s humor, derived from the Bluth family’s absurd situations, remains timeless, making it a staple for comedy enthusiasts.