At 38, I find myself standing on the precipice of 40, with a stark reminder that I’m far closer to that milestone than I am to my 30s. Gone are the days of getting carded; it simply doesn’t happen anymore. While I can still muster the energy to “celebrate” (if you count caffeine and gluten-free snacks as party essentials), I can’t shake the feeling that I’m aging faster than I’d like. It’s perplexing, considering my kids are still young enough that I’m occasionally cutting their hot dogs to prevent choking. So, why does parenting make me feel older? Here are five things that contribute to my sudden sense of age.
1. The Language Barrier with My Kids
Let’s face it—today’s kids speak a different language. I’ve tried to text my friends with straightforward messages, but my kids communicate in a baffling mix of acronyms and slang. For example, my message would be something like, “Hey! I’m running a bit late. What should I bring?” whereas they might text, “y u late.” Seriously? What happened to full sentences? And what’s with terms like “lit” and “turnt”? I’m left feeling like I need a decoder ring just to understand them. Even the classic “cool” has been replaced, and every new phrase just adds more gray hairs to my head!
2. My Struggles with Technology
While I’m still hanging out on Facebook, I hear that the younger generation has moved on to platforms I’ve never even heard of. Email? Apparently ancient history. I remember when I got my first email address, and now it seems like a relic of the past. Kids these days don’t even use their phones for talking—can you believe that? Instead, their devices are mini-computers that allow them to watch whatever they want, whenever they want, thanks to smart TVs and streaming apps. Meanwhile, I find myself flipping through cable channels at night, wishing for something to watch while my kids are already immersed in their on-demand shows.
3. My Disconnection from Pop Culture
As someone who used to live for award shows, I now feel like a stranger in a foreign land. I still try to catch an awards show or two each year, but I can hardly recognize the stars anymore. Recently, I attempted to watch the Kids’ Choice Awards with my children, and their excitement for performers I’d never even heard of was a wake-up call. When I asked, “Where’s Justin Bieber?” and they responded with, “Who?” I felt my relevance slip away. It’s a humbling experience to realize I’m no longer in the loop.
4. When Old Becomes New Again
My kids genuinely believe that shows like “Fuller House” are fresh and new. I want to shake them and say, “I watched these characters grow up!” And don’t even get me started on music; classics are being rewritten for their generation, and I’m left feeling like a relic myself. The original “Jumanji” was a board game, people! Not everything revolves around fancy screens; some things used to exist in good old-fashioned print!
5. Time and Math: My Greatest Enemies
It’s a harsh reality that the decades of my youth are now categorized as “oldies.” The ’90s was not just a few years ago; they’re practically history! I can’t wrap my head around the fact that “Friends” premiered 24 years ago or that this year’s graduating class was born in 2000. My 20-year high school reunion happened this past June, and it felt like a punch to the gut.
All these revelations have made me acutely aware of my aging process. I can hear Boys II Men playing on the oldies station, and I’m not sure how it got to this point. However, no matter how old I may feel, I still find joy in dancing around my kitchen to the Spice Girls, even if it means pulling a muscle or two. After all, I’m just 38!
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In summary, parenting has a way of making us feel older than our years. From deciphering youth lingo to grappling with technology and pop culture, it’s a journey filled with unexpected hurdles. Yet, despite the age-related epiphanies, there’s still plenty of fun to be had, even in the kitchen.