When I received a breast cancer diagnosis while my daughter was just 18 months old, it completely rocked my world. I had only returned to work after maternity leave for a brief seven months, so this news was utterly unexpected. However, navigating this life-altering experience brought about some unexpected positives, particularly in my role as a parent. Here are five valuable lessons I learned during my battle with illness that made me a better mom.
1. Embrace the Present Moment.
Like many moms, I found myself caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks, always trying to keep everything in balance. But when I learned about my illness, my perspective shifted dramatically. It became clear that I needed to focus on cherishing every moment with my family. This newfound awareness of living in the present has remained a priority for me. Life is unpredictable, and it’s essential to immerse yourself in each experience and truly appreciate it.
2. Reassess Your Priorities.
Cancer forced me to reevaluate what truly matters in my life. All the minor stresses—like work deadlines or office politics—paled in comparison to my health struggles. Now that I’m back to my daily routine, I consciously prioritize what deserves my time and energy. Family and love take precedence, with everything else falling into secondary importance. Of course, I still work hard and strive for professional success, but clarity about my top priorities keeps me focused.
3. Create Lasting Memories.
The uncertainty of life can be a powerful motivator for memory-making. My biggest fear was not being there for my daughter as she grew up, so I began documenting our moments together. I started writing letters and creating a memory book for her. Now that I am in good health, I continue to prioritize making memories—not just extravagant trips like Disneyland, but simple moments filled with love and laughter, ensuring she knows how cherished she is.
4. Choose Happiness.
Dealing with illness has given me a profound appreciation for good health. The joy I felt returning home to my daughter after hospital stays was indescribable. I realized that worrying about trivial matters, like my appearance or household imperfections, wasn’t serving me. Instead, I strive to model a joyful attitude for my children, reminding myself that happiness is a choice. My child doesn’t care about my flaws; she cares about my love and presence.
5. Value Your Partner.
I once heard someone say that the best thing a father can do for his child is to love their mother. I wholeheartedly agree. My husband was my rock during my illness, working tirelessly to maintain stability for our family. It’s crucial to recognize and appreciate your partner’s support, no matter how small the gesture might seem—like picking up groceries. By nurturing our relationship, I believe I’m providing the best example for my child about love and partnership.
While I’m grateful to be cancer-free, I will always cherish the lessons I learned during that challenging time. They have fundamentally transformed my approach to parenting and life.
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In summary, facing a serious health issue can lead to profound personal growth. By embracing the present, reassessing priorities, creating memories, choosing joy, and valuing partnerships, we can become better parents and individuals.