I recognize that I’m on the heavier side—over 200 pounds, in fact—and have battled with my weight since my teenage years. Given my recent indulgence during the holidays, it’s no surprise that I often find myself categorized with terms like “overweight” and “unhealthy.” While I don’t intend to remain in this state forever, it’s a reality I’m currently facing, just like many others who share this experience.
Interestingly, I have been slimmer in the past, and it never ceases to amaze me how differently people treat me based on my size. When I was lighter, I often heard comments like, “Do you even eat?” and “You can’t possibly relate to my struggles.” Now, back in a larger body, I encounter a different set of challenges. Some are innocent mistakes made by caring friends, while others are less thought out. If you’re looking to avoid upsetting those who are overweight, here are five important points to consider:
1. Avoid Calling Me Slim
A dear friend I hadn’t seen in a while greeted me with, “Wow! Look how thin you are!” I stood there in my size sixteen yoga pants, puzzled. I knew I had gained weight, so her words felt disingenuous. Although you might think you’re offering a compliment, it often undermines reality. If you don’t have something genuinely uplifting to say, it’s best to keep quiet. Honest friendships thrive on truth, not platitudes.
2. Don’t Assume My Health Status
Being overweight doesn’t automatically mean I’m unhealthy, just as being thin doesn’t guarantee good health. Every individual has their own journey, and weight loss or health improvement is often a long process. Instead of jumping to conclusions based on appearance, try to engage with me as a person. Judging someone solely by their body isn’t fair.
3. Mannequins Can Deceive
In my quest for a festive outfit, I found myself at a plus-size retailer, desperately trying on dress after dress. Everything looked awful on me, leaving me questioning my shape. Upon closer inspection, I realized the mannequin I was comparing myself to was likely a size 8, with the dress pinned at the back. This is a frustrating reality for many plus-sized shoppers, making the process feel disheartening.
4. Comments About My Face Are Unhelpful
So many people have told me I have a “pretty face” when I’m heavier, but I never received that compliment when I was lighter. The implication is often that while my body may not be appealing, at least my face looks good. This is not a compliment; it’s a reminder of perceived shortcomings. Please refrain from making such remarks.
5. Support My Journey Without Restraint
Anyone who has attempted weight loss knows the ups and downs involved. When I was dedicated to losing weight, I made significant progress and was excited to donate my larger clothes. However, when my husband suggested I hang onto them “just in case,” it felt dismissive of my efforts. If you have friends or family working toward goals, be supportive and encouraging, rather than holding them back with doubt.
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In summary, being mindful of how we communicate with those who are overweight can make a significant difference in their experience. Sensitivity, understanding, and support are key to fostering positive interactions.