As a mother of five, I’m currently expecting my sixth child. Although I’m not showing just yet, I already anticipate the well-meaning yet infuriating comments I might receive when I step out with my growing family. After all, juggling five kids with another on the way is quite the challenge—I certainly don’t need unsolicited remarks to add to my stress levels. I know I’m not alone in this; many of my friends with larger families share similar experiences.
If you happen to spot a pregnant woman managing several energetic children at the grocery store or elsewhere, here are five things you might want to avoid saying:
- “Wow, you’ve got your hands full!” Yes, thank you for stating the obvious! While this comment isn’t the worst, it becomes repetitive quickly. We hear this nearly every time we go out, even if we only have two or three kids with us. It gets old, trust me.
- “Don’t you know how that happens?” Actually, we’re quite educated and do understand how babies are conceived. But thanks for the offer to elaborate. Please make sure a curious five-year-old is nearby to hear the details, because nothing says fun like an awkward conversation in the checkout line.
- “You’re planning to get fixed after this baby, right?” First off, no one is broken here—our reproductive systems are functioning just fine. When it comes to our family planning, that’s a personal matter. How about we strike a deal: you don’t ask about my family decisions, and I won’t pry into yours?
- “Are you trying to overpopulate the planet?” No, we’re simply aiming to outnumber the foolishness. Our children will contribute to society someday, possibly even supporting your Social Security. Maybe you should be thanking us instead of questioning our motives.
- “How do you manage all of this?” Honestly, we have no clue. If you think we possess some secret to staying sane with this many kids, you’ll be disappointed. If we had such a secret, we’d be writing bestsellers and hiring help, rather than recruiting our kids for chores. We take it one day at a time, and yes, a glass of wine is sometimes involved.
So, what can you say to a pregnant mom of many that won’t send her into a tailspin? Consider these uplifting alternatives:
- “What a lovely family you have!”
- “You look amazing!”
- “Can I grab you some chocolate?”
Or simply offer a warm smile and a nod in our direction. A little silence is often appreciated, especially in the midst of chaos. We’ll certainly notice your kindness and feel grateful for the lack of unwanted comments.
For more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from March of Dimes. And if you’re interested in artificial insemination options, take a look at this comprehensive guide for home kits too.
In summary, think carefully before you speak. A little empathy goes a long way for parents managing large families.