Every July, my kids take over the living room, tuning into Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” and cleverly stashing the remotes away. Yes, “remotes” — plural, because modern TVs seem to require an arsenal of gadgets just to turn on and off. And of course, these gadgets mysteriously vanish. For my children, it’s the prime time for Megalodon to shine, and they’re not about to let their parents ruin the fun with adult programming.
You might wonder why my spouse and I don’t just escape to another room or plug into our devices with headphones. The answer is simple: our kids insist on sharing this thrilling experience with us. They want to bond over the suspense of sharks lurking in the depths, making it a family affair.
Ignoring the fact that much of the so-called scientific content is questionable, my kids are fully engaged. They’re all about the excitement and the occasional, hard-to-decipher Australian accents of actors posing as marine biologists, who seem to be on a quest to unravel the mysteries of the ocean—while also showcasing some rather ferocious sharks.
What my children don’t realize is that their parents are still processing the trauma from our own childhood shark fears, thanks to the iconic movie “Jaws.” Whether viewed in theaters upon its release in 1975 (and believe me, if you were there, your parents’ judgment might be in question), or repeatedly on HBO in the ’80s, this film left a lasting impression. Do you remember the panic it induced? People were afraid to swim in pools or even take baths!
It took years for us to feel comfortable in water again—about 40 years, to be precise. Now, our kids are challenging us to dive right in. “Shark Week” means full immersion for seven days, and thankfully, it wrapped up just before our family beach trip. (Thanks, Discovery Channel programmers, for your impeccable timing.)
As we prepare to hit the shore soon—our first family vacation in three years—where my husband is eager to surf, I realize I need some effective coping strategies. Perhaps I can draw inspiration from “Jaws”:
1. Channel My Inner Mayor of Amity Island
Embrace denial! I don’t want to spoil our summer getaway, especially since it’s a costly venture to enjoy the ocean 250 miles from home. So, I’ll take on the role of Mayor Vaughn, flashing a smile and assuring everyone that the water is perfectly safe. “Come on in, everyone! It’s wonderful!”
2. Adopt a Scientific Detachment
Like Hooper, the marine biologist, I can try to maintain a sense of curiosity. Once the waves hit my thighs, though, I’ll likely abandon that idea. “What was that brushing against my leg?” I might wonder—until I remember and frantically rush back to shore.
3. Enjoy a Beverage or Two
Following the example of Quint, I might find solace in a glass of wine or a few beers. Give me enough drinks, and I just might be up for a midnight swim, singing “Show Me the Way to Go Home” while the “Jaws” theme haunts the background: Duh-dunt, duh-dunt…
4. Stay Afloat
If I keep my limbs above water, I might feel invincible. Perhaps I’ll stick to jet skiing or sunset boat rides, trying not to recall Quint’s doomed vessel, the Orca, and the Great White that took it down.
5. Embrace Brody’s Fear
Finally, if the anxiety is too overwhelming, I’ll take a page from Chief Brody’s book and arm myself with some metaphorical defenses. Whether that means a metaphorical harpoon or just a positive mindset, I’ll prepare for any lurking fears.
As we gear up for our trip to Cape Cod, where reports of Great Whites were recently spotted near Chatham, I’m reminded—thanks to my kids—we might just need a bigger boat.
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In summary, navigating a beach vacation after “Shark Week” presents unique challenges for parents, but by employing a bit of humor and creativity, it can turn into an enjoyable experience for the whole family.