Back in the 1970s in Southern California, my mother conducted a little experiment with me and my older brother: she handed me toy trucks and him dolls, convinced that our preferences were purely social. She believed our choices between Barbie and Tonka had nothing to do with biology. In our case, however, she was mistaken. I was drawn to the “girl” toys, while my brother reclaimed his “boy” toys with a dismissive eye roll.
Sure, her study lacked scientific rigor. This was also the era of carob chips (which I can still taste in all their chalky glory) and a massive brass pyramid above her bed meant to align our energies. However, she was onto something significant.
Today, we have a deeper understanding of gender and children, yet the landscape remains similar. Fast forward 40 years, and my 5-year-old daughter is now turning her nose up at toys she deems “for boys.” From her vantage point, she has a point: “girl” items are often pink, frilly, and glittery, while “boy” items are typically navy, black, and industrial. She faces constant pressure to conform to gender norms, which I find just as unappealing as those carob chips. Why are we still teaching children to view their options so rigidly? Must it be princesses or trucks?
I want my children to feel free to explore their interests without being confined by gender stereotypes, especially my daughter. Here are five strategies to help her break free from traditional expectations:
1. Engage in Sports Together
It’s easy to assume that sports are for boys, especially in households where the mother isn’t a fan. Last Sunday, while watching the U.S. Women’s World Cup victory, my daughter exclaimed, “Are they really all girls?” I encourage my partner to pause and explain plays to our daughter just like he does for our son. This has led to her expanding her vocabulary—swear words included.
2. Choose Gender-Neutral Clothing
Steer clear of pink, ruffles, and overly feminine designs. Brands like Primary offer stylish and vibrant options that don’t scream “gender-defined.” Plus, everything is priced under $25.
3. Introduce Coding
In 2023, coding skills are more essential than ever. Organizations like Girls Who Code and local camps provide great resources for classes. We want our girls to be part of the tech world, or we risk a future filled only with Barbie-themed apps.
4. Foster Cross-Gender Friendships
Encourage friendships with boys and avoid exclusively all-girl birthday parties. My son’s best friend is a girl; they met at age 4 and have maintained a strong bond. We make a concerted effort to nurture their friendship beyond the confines of school.
5. Provide Diverse Reading Material
Give your daughter access to books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, and Tintin, as well as comic books and graphic novels. A book with a cupcake on its cover doesn’t have to dictate her reading choices. For older girls, suggest that reading about boys is one of the best ways to understand them.
This article was originally published on July 7, 2010. For more insights on home insemination, check out our post on at-home intracervical insemination syringe kits. Additionally, if you’re interested in patient experiences, visit this authority on the topic. For excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, refer to Mount Sinai.
In summary, empowering our daughters to explore interests outside of traditional gender norms can shape their identities positively. By engaging with them in various activities, promoting neutral clothing choices, and broadening their reading horizons, we can help them feel free to pursue their true passions.