My daughter was a late potty trainer, and it was a challenging experience. I often felt embarrassed, worrying that others were judging me for my nearly four-year-old still relying on full-time Pull-Ups. We weren’t just experiencing a few accidents; we hadn’t even started the process. She adamantly refused to approach the bathroom, and no amount of coaxing would get her to sit on the toilet or even on the adorable little penguin potty we had purchased. It felt like a battle I was losing.
We tried every kind of underwear imaginable, from those featuring her favorite characters to cute pink ones adorned with rainbows and unicorns. I even invested in some microfiber options, hoping they might appeal to her senses. Yet, these colorful undergarments promised potty success, but they only led to frustration.
After countless attempts, I reached a breaking point. Despite reading various books, scouring the internet for tips, and consulting mom groups, we were stuck. Then one day, my husband took a different approach—he placed her on the potty, handed her an iPad, and put on some giant headphones. At first, I chuckled, recalling my numerous unsuccessful attempts. She cried, screamed, and stood up, just like always. But somehow, he managed to get her to sit back down. Suddenly, I heard the sound of success—she was going! Through her tears, she exclaimed, “That wasn’t scary at all.” It turned out that fear of the unknown had held her back.
This wasn’t an instant fix; it took a few more days. While she would go for my husband and my mom, she wouldn’t go for me. When I asked her why, she said, “They’re nice to me.” That hit me hard. My frustration had made her perceive me as unkind. Realizing this, I adjusted my tone, and the next time she needed to go, we had a breakthrough. I was overjoyed.
With time, she mastered potty training and hasn’t worn a Pull-Up at night since. I couldn’t be prouder of her. Here are five strategies I wish I’d known earlier that might help ease your potty training journey.
1. Avoid Forcing the Issue
It can be tempting to push your child into potty training, but it often backfires. Each child has their own readiness timetable, which may not match their siblings’. Some kids may take until age three, four, or even five. It’s essential to let them take the lead on this journey.
2. Cultivate Patience
Patience is key. If you want to achieve quicker results, don’t rush the process. Set aside a whole weekend to dedicate to potty training. Be prepared with books, songs, and plenty of quality time. The more patient you are, the more positive the experience will be.
3. Stay Calm and Avoid Threats
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment for yourself. Yelling or threatening your child isn’t effective and can foster resentment. Instead of punishing them for potty training difficulties, consider offering incentives like choosing a fun new pair of underwear.
4. The Naked Method Isn’t Always Magical
While some swear by letting kids go naked to help them recognize when they need to go, this method doesn’t work for everyone. If your child ends up soaking the couch, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Try using underwear next time; they might be more motivated to avoid accidents.
5. Celebrate Success
Kids thrive on praise. Offer positive reinforcement and small rewards, like stickers or treats. More importantly, show them that you’re proud—your joy will motivate them to keep trying.
Potty training can be a daunting task, but remember that you’re asking your child to adapt to something entirely new. They are expected to sit on a big toilet and let go of everything inside them, which can be intimidating. Your calm demeanor will create a more reassuring environment for both of you. Accidents will happen, and it may take time, but if your child takes longer to potty train, it’s perfectly normal. Give yourself grace—you’ve got this!
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Summary:
Potty training can be a challenging milestone, especially for those with late potty trainers. It’s important to recognize that each child has their own pace and readiness. By avoiding pressure, practicing patience, maintaining a calm approach, and celebrating successes, you can create a positive experience for both you and your child. Remember, it’s okay if it takes longer than expected—you’re not alone in this journey.