In the realm of motherhood, even the most straightforward tasks can transform into monumental challenges. Dinner time often devolves into a chaotic spectacle, with food flying in every direction. Making the bed feels more like a wrestling match, while the nightly quest for bedtime can trigger a cascade of grey hairs. And let’s not even start on the simple act of answering a phone call—it’s a guaranteed recipe for chaos.
These days, my phone is permanently set to silent. The moment it rings, my children erupt into a frenzy, screaming, fighting, and creating utter pandemonium. While I wish I could say I’m exaggerating, I assure you I’m not. My kids turn into little terrors the moment I try to engage in a phone conversation.
Chances are, yours do too. Let’s explore the five stages of answering a call when kids are in the mix.
Stage One: The Phone Rings
First, you scramble to locate the phone, whisper-yelling for everyone to be quiet as you follow the buzzing sound to the kitchen, where it lies buried under a pile of bills. The kids exchange glances that clearly communicate, “Don’t you dare focus on that phone, Mom! We’re about to unleash some serious chaos!”
Stage Two: Answering the Phone
Panic sets in as you finally grasp the phone. Desperation is evident on your face, leading you to bribe your kids with promises of candy, extra TV time, or that long-lost toy sitting atop the refrigerator—all in exchange for five minutes of peace while you handle a quick call. Sensing your vulnerability, they begin plotting their first act of mischief.
“Hello?”
Stage Three: Owl Eyes
“Oh, hi! Sure, I have a minute…”—the biggest fib you’ll ever tell as a mom. There is no such thing as a minute of peace. Within seconds, one child needs to use the bathroom, another insists on being naked, and yet another starts making an ear-piercing siren noise while chasing a sibling.
You furrow your brow and widen your eyes, looking like an anxious owl trying to maintain order. But instead of quieting down, your kids dissolve into giggles. You realize you’ve lost control.
Stage Four: Whisper-Screaming
Just fifty-seven seconds into your “free” minute, your clever little ones decide it’s the perfect time to stage a fridge raid, sending jars crashing to the floor. In a panic, you begin whisper-screaming directions, “GO SIT DOWN THIS INSTANT!” They blissfully ignore you. So, you escalate to, “I MEAN IT! DO NOT MAKE ME HANG UP THIS PHONE!” But alas, they’ve discovered a stash of juice boxes, and one even steps in mustard.
Stage Five: Emergency Exit Strategy
At this point, your phone call is effectively compromised. Blood boiling and sanity slipping, you turn to the person on the line and apologize, making excuses and vowing to call back shortly.
You hang up and toss that phone back onto the mountain of bills on the kitchen counter, praying you never attempt to answer it in the presence of your little tornadoes again.
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In summary, answering a phone call when you have kids can feel like an uphill battle. From locating your device to managing the inevitable chaos, each stage presents its own challenges. But amidst the madness, there are resources available to help you navigate this wild parenting journey.