As the back-to-school season rolls around, it feels akin to the onset of a new year, filled with fresh promises focused on education. Year after year, I find myself making the same resolutions: punctuality for school, no lost permission slips, and preparing lunches the night before. But this fall, I’m introducing some new commitments, and with a bit of wisdom from my years of parenting, I believe I can stick to them.
1. I Will Embrace the Power of NO.
After spending over a decade navigating the school system with my kids, I’ve shed the eager volunteer persona I once had. I’m no longer that enthusiastic mom ready to jump at every opportunity to help out. Instead, I’ve found camaraderie with fellow parents who share my fatigue. We’re the ones quietly wishing for a break, ready to pass the torch to the next generation of enthusiastic parents. It’s liberating to say “No” without guilt and to not worry about others’ perceptions. So let those ambitious parents handle the class parties while I take a well-deserved yoga class.
2. I Will Let My Kids Navigate Their Mornings Alone.
I admit, this is a lofty goal. The reality is, without my morning pep talks and frantic organization, my kids might not get out of bed until noon. But I am determined to step back and give them the chance to manage their own routines. It will take some serious restraint on my part to trust them to wake up, prepare breakfast, and get ready for school without my intervention. This shift might even save my vocal cords from the strain of morning shouting. Here’s hoping we can pull this off until winter break—maybe even Halloween!
3. I Will Support My Teen’s Aspirations, Not My Own.
As my eldest started high school, I had a vision of his academic path that didn’t include his own preferences. I realized that he is more than capable of exploring his interests, which are distinctly different from what I had envisioned. If he wants to pursue teaching and delve into English instead of math, who am I to dictate otherwise? His choices and passions will evolve, but from now on, I will encourage him to carve out his own future without my expectations overshadowing his journey.
4. I Will Refrain from Assisting with School Projects.
Is there anything more obvious than a project that’s been entirely crafted by a parent? I know I’m not alone in spotting the telltale signs of parental involvement. With four kids, I’ve learned to let go of the urge to swoop in and save the day when deadlines loom. If my child procrastinates and their project is due tomorrow, my response will be, “Looks like you’re in a bind. Good luck!” I believe it’s better for them to learn the consequences of their actions now than to face a far more critical audience later on.
5. I Will Cherish My Youngest Child’s Elementary Years.
While I’ve grown weary of the school routine, it’s crucial that my youngest child doesn’t feel the weight of my fatigue. He deserves the same enthusiasm I showed for his siblings’ early milestones. I will make a conscious effort to celebrate his school experiences with joy and excitement, from dressing up for “Saint Day” to attending his Christmas play. I want to ensure he feels valued and appreciated throughout his educational journey, even if I’m tired. Perhaps some of the best experiences are saved for last.
In summary, as the school year begins, I’m committing to these resolutions to foster independence, support my children’s choices, and embrace the joy of my youngest’s experiences. It’s about creating a positive environment for all my kids while ensuring that I also take care of myself along the way.
For more insights on parenting and family journeys, check out resources from CDC, Make a Mom, and Intracervical Insemination.