5 Parenting Rules My Mother Encouraged Me to Challenge

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Navigating parenthood often means questioning the well-worn advice passed down through generations. My upbringing, while conventional in many ways, was filled with unique experiences that shaped my perspective as a parent today. My parents were complex individuals, and as I raise my own four kids, I recognize the significant influence they’ve had on my parenting style. Here are five “rules” from my mother that I’ve found valuable to challenge:

1. Television Isn’t the Enemy.

Growing up in a home with an astounding 22 television sets, I was immersed in a world of visual storytelling from an early age. I can still recall watching Johnny Carson and St. Elsewhere with my family, and even crafting my own Cheers scripts as a child. Contrary to popular belief, my experience proves that television doesn’t hinder academic success. So when my kids plead for a Spongebob marathon, I remind myself it’s not harmful—though I might need to lower the volume to maintain my sanity!

2. Embrace the Unconventional.

My mother was an adventurous spirit. When she learned of Elvis Presley’s passing, she spontaneously flew to Memphis for his funeral, all while pregnant with me. She often embarked on whimsical trips, like taking my friend and me to Canada just to say we had been there. Her zest for life inspires me to encourage my children to seek adventure and to never shy away from spontaneity—life is too short for hesitation.

3. Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve.

My mom is a passionate person, whether it’s her love for chocolate, the beach, or Elvis. Her openness about her interests has taught me the importance of sharing my own passions with my children. By letting them know what I cherish, I hope to foster a connection that encourages them to express themselves freely and authentically.

4. Don’t Fear Embarrassment.

Whenever Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll” played, my mother would break into a dance, regardless of where we were. Even now, she doesn’t hesitate to join in on the fun at events. This ability to let loose and be vulnerable is a lesson I strive to impart to my children; being unguarded fosters deeper connections with others. Encouraging their self-expression often pushes me to confront my own reservations.

5. Connect with Others.

My mother has an incredible knack for engaging with those around her, often sharing touching stories about strangers she meets. While I sometimes feel overwhelmed by my own life, I admire her empathy and curiosity. She exemplifies the belief that everyone has a unique story worth hearing. I aim to instill this value in my children, helping them understand the significance of human connection within our communities.

Reflecting on these lessons, it’s clear that my mother’s adventurous spirit and fearlessness have profoundly shaped my approach to parenting. Despite our differences, her influence is a guiding force in my life as I strive to instill the same principles in my children. But as much as I’d like to grant them cable in their bedrooms, the answer is still a resounding no.

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In summary, my mother’s unconventional wisdom has shaped not just my upbringing but how I parent my kids today. From embracing vulnerability to fostering connections, these lessons offer a roadmap for nurturing strong, open-minded individuals in a complex world.