Updated: July 30, 2019
Originally Published: Feb. 23, 2015
Motherhood often feels like a whirlwind. The journey starts with labor—painful, messy, and unending nights of breastfeeding—followed by a period where your child seems to be in constant danger, darting off the couch at a moment’s notice. Then come the years of relentless shuttling, from school to extracurricular activities and playdates. Countless meals need to be prepared, and let’s be honest, how many creative ways can you make chicken exciting on a Tuesday night? Yes, we’re having broccoli again, kiddo, deal with it.
The birthday parties, field trips, and all the tears from feeling excluded seem endless, requiring immediate attention and a comforting cup of hot chocolate—oh wait, we’re out of marshmallows, great! Then comes the tumultuous teenage years, filled with hormones, heartbreak, homework, and endless hair products. Your once-communicative child now forgets to inform you about parties, and you discover those rolling papers in their drawer. Attempting to have “the talk” about safe sex is met with dramatic eye rolls, and you spend sleepless nights praying for their safe return home from social gatherings. Before you know it, they’re packing up for college and you’re left in a state of disbelief.
And then, silence.
Months can pass without a single word from your college-aged child—the one you nurtured and cared for, who now seems to view you as a distant memory. You’ve become a relic from their past, a figure they feel slightly embarrassed by—oh yeah, that’s my mom, stuck in the ’70s with her outdated Spotify playlist.
If you dare to text, good luck getting a response; they’re far too busy living their best life. Recently, J.K. Simmons, upon winning an Oscar, took the opportunity to remind everyone to call their parents instead of sending a text. “If you’re lucky enough to have a parent around, call them. Don’t text. Tell them you love them and thank them.” I almost shared this poignant message on my college sophomore’s Facebook wall, but I thought better of it.
To be fair, I visited him just last weekend for a performance, and from the moment I arrived until I left, he was completely booked. He had a paper to finish, a play to perform, a cappella practice until the early hours, and somehow he had to fit in sleep.
To offer some comfort to fellow parents with college students and a slew of unanswered texts, I’m going to share five actual screenshots of messages I sent to my son during his freshman year. Just wait until he has a child of his own and sends me those frantic texts like, “Mom, the baby is yellow!” or “How do I stop her from crying?” I’ll definitely text him back then.
- When I was away for a few days.
- When I hadn’t heard from him for two weeks.
- Later that same day, then two days after that, and three days after that.
- On his birthday (I even tried calling).
- During finals week.
This article was originally published on Feb. 23, 2015.
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Summary:
Navigating motherhood is full of chaotic moments and tender memories, but once your child heads off to college, you may find them less communicative than before. This piece humorously reflects on the experience of sending unanswered texts to a busy college student while highlighting the importance of connection.