The moment I discovered I was expecting my third child, my world shifted dramatically. The very next day, I found myself carrying my two toddlers, a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old, down the stairs for breakfast, a routine I had cherished since my youngest was born. However, I quickly realized that this tradition needed to be revised. Soon enough, I would be dealing with a belly full of baby, and lifting two little ones at once would soon become unmanageable. So, with a heavy heart, I gently set them down and took their hands. The response was less than favorable—screams and flailing ensued, but I had to stand my ground.
Normally, I would have attempted to soothe them with snacks or distracting activities, but I recognized that my focus would need to shift to their new sibling. Balancing nursing a newborn while calming two tantruming toddlers would be a challenge I had to embrace, and sometimes I would simply have to let them express their frustration. I had been so concerned about my eldest feeling sidelined when my daughter arrived that I had stretched myself too thin, trying to maintain the same pace for him. I needed to adapt for the sake of my sanity and their well-being, and that meant letting go of a few things:
1. I Stopped Inviting Visitors to the Hospital.
The only calls made were to a select few as my husband drove me to the hospital; I quickly took the phone from him, reminding him that I was in labor. I wanted to experience this moment with just him and our new child without an audience waiting outside for updates. I craved solitude to rest and bond, free from the interruptions of visitors.
2. I Stopped Overextending Myself.
With three kids, chaos became the new normal. All three would often need me simultaneously—crying, hungry, and just wanting attention. I realized I couldn’t comfort each one at every moment. We learned to embrace a little discomfort, and surprisingly, that made us all stronger.
3. I Stopped Worrying About Everything.
If my older kids spent hours in front of the TV while I nursed the baby, so be it. I let go of the pressure to entertain them constantly. Homemade snacks were swapped for store-bought options, and I no longer stressed over cleaning up every mess. When friends offered unsolicited advice, I smiled and moved on.
4. I Stopped Allowing Uninvited Guests.
Unless you were bringing dinner and had a prior invitation, you weren’t coming over. The idea of casual visits to see the new baby while I was managing two toddlers was overwhelming. I needed my space to breathe—if you weren’t bringing food and support, you were unwelcome.
5. I Stopped Saying Yes to Everything.
This shift affected my family the most. “No, I can’t play right now; I need to feed your brother,” became a frequent response. Even friends and family had to learn that my availability had limits. Those who understood adapted, while the rest faded away, and that was perfectly okay.
In many ways, welcoming my third child was the most challenging experience yet. It turned my routine upside down and often left me feeling lost. But deep down, I knew how to love these three little humans fiercely, even if that meant setting boundaries. My home may not have been spotless, and I might have relied on quick meals at times, but I understood what truly mattered. I was empowering myself by letting go, allowing me to nurture my children in the best way I knew how.
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Summary:
Adjusting to life with a third child requires significant changes. From limiting hospital visitors to embracing a bit of chaos and letting go of perfectionism, the transition is all about prioritizing well-being and love. By setting boundaries and accepting help only when necessary, parents can navigate the challenges of a growing family.