I’ve been trying to wish it away. Maybe it’s just my imagination, and tomorrow I’ll wake up to find that my daughter’s latest milestone was a false alarm. But seriously, an armpit hair on my 8-year-old? STOP THE TRAIN! I’m not ready for this journey yet.
I’m not oblivious to the reality of puberty. I’ve been holding my breath, knowing that my time as the mother of a sweet little girl is fading fast. At my age, I’ve dealt with significant changes in my body; I went from a B-cup to a DDD due to genetics and life choices. Honestly, I anticipated these changes but was secretly hoping for a little more time to prepare.
It’s not that I’m in denial; I just have a complicated history with body image and eating disorders, making it easier to ignore the signs of growing up. If that single hair is still there in the morning, I may just have to consult Dr. Google for time travel tips and YouTube tutorials on building my own TARDIS.
I’m not afraid of my daughter maturing; I’m terrified of how to explain the harsh realities that come with it. As someone who has battled bulimia, here are my top five body-image-related fears about her entering puberty:
- As she matures, she will likely absorb the idea that self-loathing is normal. Her friends may start commenting on their bodies, using phrases like “OMG, I’m so fat,” and packing diet shakes instead of nutritious meals. They might even take pride in skipping meals, thinking that starving themselves is a win.
- Young friendships can dissolve over trivial matters, but adult relationships can be brutal. I hope she grows up confident, ignoring negative opinions about her appearance. But how can I shield her from the pain if societal judgments end up affecting her self-esteem?
- Right now, she eats when she’s hungry and celebrates satisfying meals. She’s active for health and energy, and I’ve tried to foster this positive environment based on my experiences. However, as she interacts with the outside world, she’ll encounter people who are far less kind.
- We don’t own a scale, and I plan to keep it that way. One day, she might witness a peer step on one and react. Whether it’s a celebration or a moment of despair, she’ll soon learn that “The Number” can dictate how one feels about themselves—an idea I hope she challenges.
- She inherited her father’s legs. What if she also picked up my emotional scars? What if, despite my best efforts to raise her with confidence, I inadvertently passed on my insecurities?
Perhaps I’m overreacting to the initial signs of puberty, like that one hair. Maybe she’ll remain the self-assured dynamo who states, “Yourself is Yourself, and who can argue with that?” without caring what others think.
But just in case, I’m joining her on this journey. I might be apprehensive about what lies ahead, but I recognize that this isn’t my path; it’s hers.
This story is an excerpt from Growing Pains: Tales of Motherhood and Self-Discovery by Lisa M. Morgan.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s anxieties surrounding her daughter’s upcoming puberty and the inevitable body image issues that may arise. The author reflects on her own experiences with body image and eating disorders, expressing concerns about societal pressures and how they could affect her daughter. Ultimately, she recognizes that while she may be scared for her daughter, it’s essential to support her on this journey of self-discovery.