I’ve been anticipating this moment my entire life. The age of 40 has been like a lighthouse on the horizon, shining brightly, challenging me to draw near. Those who have crossed this threshold before me say, “It’s all downhill from here,” or “Forty isn’t so terrible,” and “One day, you’ll be here too.”
One day.
As a kid, turning 40 meant attending a party where my dad received black carnations and gifts marked “Over The Hill.” In my teenage years, it seemed unfathomable—I could never be that old. To me, 40 was ancient—a distant milestone.
In my 20s, the notion of 40 was still a vague concept, a far-off “someday,” much like Sally lamented in When Harry Met Sally. I still had time—at least eight years, right?
Once I hit my 30s, the reality began to settle in. Suddenly, 40 was looming closer, a warning of the “Over the Hill” gifts that awaited me.
And now, here I stand.
I’m turning 40. The Big 4-0.
And just like Sally cried, that “someday” has arrived—not in eight years, but now.
It’s not exactly what I envisioned. It’s both thrilling and intimidating, accompanied by body parts that feel foreign. Yet, it’s also better than I had hoped.
My 40 looks like this:
- Surrounded by friends who uplift me, eager to be part of my life, while letting go of those who don’t.
- Scheduling annual mammograms that are quite painful, but necessary.
- Speaking my truth boldly—something I never dared to do in my 20s.
- Saying farewell to mentors and loved ones who helped shape me.
- Embracing who I am, even if my thighs are a little unrecognizable.
- Watching friends navigate through divorces.
- Celebrating with friends who arrive with a white limousine and champagne for my 40th, rather than black flowers.
- Being married to a partner who understands my quirks and is committed for the long haul.
- Not caring about Common Core math, because it really doesn’t matter to me.
- Listening to ’80s music and realizing that “Hangin’ Tough” wasn’t as tough as I thought.
- Preparing my children to eventually leave home, hoping I can handle it gracefully when that time comes.
- Taking strides towards a new writing career.
- Witnessing friends rekindle their marriages.
- Investing in braces, glasses, and college funds.
- Learning to say no without feeling guilty.
- Being grateful that my body still allows me to run marathons.
- Choosing to buy the good wine.
- Letting go of the obsession with a specific number on the scale and accepting what is.
- Realizing I may not have cherished every moment with my kids, while promising to savor every second going forward because time indeed flies.
- Hearing the phrase “Bucket List” and recognizing it’s time to prioritize my dreams—Paris and the pyramids await.
- Closing my eyes at night and thanking the universe for this life I lead.
As I near this significant birthday, I feel a mix of anxiety, excitement, and disbelief at how quickly 40 has arrived. I can only hope that the years ahead unfold at a more manageable pace. When I blow out my candles, I will make wishes, set intentions, and dream for my next chapter. After all, I’m headed towards 50—someday.
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Summary
Turning 40 brings a blend of excitement and apprehension, transforming how we perceive friendships, responsibilities, and personal growth. It’s a time to embrace new beginnings, let go of the past, and savor life’s moments while preparing for the future.