Comedy legends like Joan Rivers, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and many others have discovered a secret: the great equalizer in humor is finding laughs in the ordinary and shared experiences of life. That’s when comedy truly becomes a universal language. Everyday activities like visiting the dentist, filing your taxes, or witnessing a plumber in action can be pure comedic gold. We’ve all been there, which is why they resonate.
Another similarly tedious experience is going to the bank. The long queues, outdated technology, and those chain-anchored pens that never seem to work—it’s all part of the journey. This makes bank jokes and puns delightfully amusing and downright silly. While accountant jokes and money-related puns can be fun, there’s something about a good loanshark joke that hits the mark perfectly. With that in mind, we’ve compiled the corniest and most ridiculous bank jokes even your teller would find amusing.
- Why did the football coach visit the bank? “I want my quarterback!”
- What happened to the teller who lost his job? An elderly lady asked him to check her balance, so he tipped her over.
- Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? He lacked the guts.
- If you have no interest in banking, you are not a loan.
- Why was the woodcutter arrested at the bank? He walked in, pointed a stick at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”
- If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
- When does it rain money? When there’s a “change” in the weather.
- Why did the naked man rob a bank? Nobody could remember his face.
- A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed the bank. Police are searching high and low for the culprits.
- Why did the bank owner buy cows? To beef up security.
- Where do fish stash their cash? In the riverbank.
People who rob banks and jewelry stores may be bad, but those who rob bakeries really take the cake. What did the recluse tell the bank teller when he needed money? “Leave me a loan.” Why are Irish bankers so successful? Their capital is always Dublin. Why is a river considered wealthy? It has two banks.
Did you hear about the tightrope walker who went to the bank? He just wanted to check his balance. My dad always said, “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” So I did—my account balance is now $9.11. I once had a bank account at the North Pole, but they froze all my assets. What did the nut say when robbing the bank? “Give me all the cashew have!”
Why did the old man take raisins to the bank? He wanted to set up a current account. If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? A criminal robbed a bank while wearing a suit made of mirrors, but he turned himself in after taking time to reflect. Luckily, the judge was lenient, as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
My uncle always claimed to have a fortune in a safe deposit box. He left me the key in his will. When I opened the box, there was an envelope that read, “Good things are ahead for you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10, and 13.” Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash. I quit my job at the bank today. You could say I lost interest.
The bank must really like me; they keep telling me my loan is outstanding. Did you hear about the gold digger? They enjoy leisurely romantic strolls over to the Bank of America. Chuck Norris doesn’t have a bank account; he just tells the bank how much money he needs. What did the bank teller say to the customer? “Bank you very much.”
What’s the toughest part about being addicted to banking? The withdrawals. What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they won’t expect it back. Why did the banker die? He cashed out. The sign above the bank teller’s station reads: “To err is human; to forgive is not bank policy.” What do fish use for currency? Sand dollars.
I went to the bank to apply for a personal loan, but when they discovered I wanted to become a rapper, they didn’t want to Post Malone. What do you call a boy named John with a lot of money? Johnny Cash.
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Summary
This article presents over 40 humorous bank jokes and puns that capture the lighthearted side of the often mundane experience of visiting a bank. From clever wordplay to amusing scenarios, these jokes are sure to elicit a chuckle from anyone, even your bank teller.