Just four days after welcoming my first child into the world, I found myself at a friend’s house. My baby was peacefully napping in his car seat when my friend, eager to get a closer look, moved the car seat closer to her on the couch. I was exhausted, sore, and really needed a moment to rest. It felt like the perfect opportunity to close my eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to relax.
My son felt too far away, even though he was just a few feet from me. The presence of my friend’s two dogs added to my anxiety as they approached him, sniffing and pacing back and forth. I knew they were harmless family pets, but the worry overwhelmed me. Unable to cope, I took my son and left, nearly in tears.
As I drove home, I couldn’t help but question my reaction. That intense feeling of protectiveness was a revelation. I realized that becoming a mother would fundamentally change me in unexpected ways. My awareness of everything around my child heightened; I felt as if we were in our own bubble, with everyone else as potential threats. This shift transformed many of the things I once took for granted into sources of anxiety. Here are four examples:
1. Navigating Crowds
Whether I had one child or all three with me, crowds became a source of stress. I couldn’t help but count heads constantly to ensure everyone was accounted for. The fear of someone snatching one of them or losing track became all-consuming. My kids often complained that I squeezed their hands too tightly, unaware of the fear driving my need for control. Even if they were safely strapped into a stroller, I’d feel the need to check on them repeatedly and scan for exits, just in case.
2. Driving in Unknown Areas
The thought of road trips now filled me with dread. Even with GPS guidance, I found it hard to sleep the night before. The fear of getting lost or stuck was paralyzing. I could once drive anywhere without a second thought, but that sense of freedom vanished with motherhood’s onset.
3. Separation Anxiety
Even when I craved a break, leaving my children with a sitter or family member felt impossible. I was consumed by the fear that something might happen to them if I wasn’t there. It was as if I alone held the key to their safety, and nobody else could be trusted.
4. Fear of Mortality
Before becoming a mother, I rarely thought about death. If I did, I accepted it as a natural part of life. But once I had kids, the fear of dying became a daily concern. I would look at my children’s innocent faces and think, “If anything happened to me, how would they cope?” This crippling anxiety took my thoughts to dark places, something I’d never experienced before.
These feelings are not unique; many mothers share similar fears. The weight of responsibility that comes with raising children can lead to an overwhelming need to protect both ourselves and our kids. The instinct to safeguard our families is instinctual—yet the anxieties can catch us off guard. Motherhood is not just a physical transformation; it’s an emotional and mental shift that can make once-simple tasks, like driving in a new city, feel daunting.
However, it’s crucial to recognize that you’re not alone in these feelings. As my children grew and I began to confront my fears, I found some relief. I encouraged them to take risks and gradually pushed myself to engage in those intimidating activities. It was challenging, but each step brought me closer to feeling at ease. I regret waiting so long before tackling these fears, as I missed out on countless joyful experiences.
If you find that your anxiety is affecting your well-being or relationships, seeking help is essential—remember, we all want you to thrive.
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Summary
Motherhood brings about unexpected fears and anxieties, from navigating crowds to worrying about safety and mortality. These feelings are common among mothers and stem from the instinct to protect their children. While these fears may feel overwhelming, addressing them can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling family life.