Let me share a little about my journey. When I was in labor, I opted out of pain medication. I breastfed my daughter until she was a little over two years old, and while I cherished that bond, I desperately wanted my body back (and so did my partner). I make sure my family is fully vaccinated, even my husband who is not a fan of needles. I’m not a fan of sugary snacks for my child, and yes, sometimes she does run into things like a parked car just for fun, which I find amusing. My daughter has been sleeping in her own room since she was just three weeks old. I carry her around quite a bit, and yes, she does cry when I drop her off at preschool while I rush off to work. Oh, and she loves hot dogs—especially with tons of ketchup.
Are you ready to judge me?
It seems that judging one another is a common pastime among mothers—whether we admit it or not. I know I do it. I could recount the ways I find myself judging others, but many of you probably recognize those tendencies in yourselves too. However, there are certain judgments that should really come to an end. Here are four that need to stop:
1. How We Give Birth
During my pregnancy, I was well aware that I likely wouldn’t be able to have an epidural due to the associated risks. My mom, on the other hand, had an emergency C-section at 32 weeks because I wasn’t getting enough nutrients. Even decades later, she’s still told that she didn’t truly experience childbirth, as if a C-section makes her any less of a mother. Let’s be clear: if you bring a child into the world—whether through vaginal birth, cesarean, or adoption—the experience is valid and should never be belittled.
2. How We Nourish Our Kids
Unless you see me force-feeding my child a greasy burger, assume that I’m doing my best. I chose to breastfeed because it worked for me, but I also grew up on soy formula and turned out just fine. Not everyone can afford all-organic meals, and not every mom has the time or resources to make homemade baby food. It’s important to respect different feeding choices without judgment.
3. When We Enroll Our Kids in School or Daycare
“Sending a two-year-old to preschool full-time? That’s excessive!” Really? My partner and I both work full-time jobs, and our families aren’t available to care for our little one. If our son needs a place to go during the day, why shouldn’t it be preschool? Just because you choose to stay home doesn’t mean others should feel shamed for needing childcare options. Every family’s situation is unique, and decisions should be respected.
4. How We Manage Our Children in Public
I consider myself a fairly relaxed parent; I usually let my daughter explore while I keep an eye on her from a distance. But in public, it seems like everyone becomes a safety monitor, warning me about potential dangers. I fell and scraped my knees as a child—those experiences helped me learn about risk. If my child cries in public, I feel the pressure as if everyone is judging my response. Unless a child is genuinely in danger, let’s give parents some space to handle their kids without unsolicited advice.
We all have our own quirks and pet peeves when it comes to parenting. It’s human nature to judge as we strive to validate our choices, believing we’re doing what’s best for our children. The reality is that we are making these decisions for our own families, and that’s what truly matters.
As we navigate this wild parenting journey together, let’s remember that what works for one family might look completely different for another. And that’s perfectly okay.
For more insights on motherhood and parenting decisions, check out this article about couples’ fertility journeys. You might also find valuable information at Intracervical Insemination where they discuss various childbirth experiences. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources related to pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Motherhood is often accompanied by unsolicited judgments, particularly concerning birth methods, feeding practices, school enrollment, and public parenting. It’s essential to recognize that each family makes choices based on their unique circumstances. Instead of judging, we should embrace the diverse paths of motherhood and support one another.