Let’s get real for a moment. I endured labor without any pain relief, breastfed my daughter until she was 26 months old (trust me, I loved her, but I was ready to reclaim my body), and I ensure that my family, including our cat, is fully vaccinated. Sure, I limit my little one’s sugary snacks, but I can’t help but chuckle when she purposely bumps into things (like furniture). She’s been sleeping in her own space since she was a month old, but yes, I carry her around quite a bit. Sometimes she cries when I drop her off at daycare, and I scramble out of there to make it to work on time. Oh, and she has an obsession with macaroni and cheese.
Ready to judge?
Moms often find themselves in the business of judging each other—though we might not openly admit it. I’m guilty of it, too, but there are certain judgments that really need to stop. Here are a few:
- Birth Choices: When I was expecting, the idea of an epidural was not in the cards for me. My own mother had an emergency c-section at 32 weeks, yet decades later she still faces criticism about her experience in childbirth. Let’s face it, if a child comes into the world through you—be it through vaginal birth or adoption—that’s your story. Every path to parenthood is valid.
- Feeding Practices: Please, unless you see me forcing a greasy burger down my child’s throat, kindly keep your opinions to yourself. I chose to breastfeed because it worked for us, while I was raised on formula. Not every family can afford organic food or constantly replace bottles based on the latest health trends. I’m sure I would have lost my mind trying to make homemade baby food, while others thrive on that creativity.
- School and Daycare Decisions: “Sending a toddler to full-time preschool is outrageous!” I hear you. But my husband and I work full-time, and our families can’t step in as caregivers. So, unless I want to drag my little one to my classroom every day, preschool is our best option. Each family has to make choices based on their circumstances—some may stay home, while others can’t afford that luxury. Please don’t label my choice as crazy.
- Managing Kids in Public: I consider myself a relaxed parent, usually watching my daughter from a safe distance. In public, however, it feels like everyone is monitoring how I handle her minor tumbles or cries. I learned to embrace risk as a child, and I want my daughter to do the same. As long as she’s not in danger, let’s leave the other moms and their kids out of it.
We all have our own pet peeves and it’s difficult not to judge when we want to believe we’re making the best choices for our children. We are making those choices for our kids, not anyone else’s. So, let’s remember that while we’re all in this parenting journey together, every family has their own unique rules and paths—even if they seem unconventional to others.
If you’re interested in learning more about at-home insemination options, check out our other blog post on the at-home insemination kit. And for those coping with pregnancy and infant loss, Finding Solace in Togetherness offers valuable insights. The CDC’s resource on assisted reproductive technology is also a great place to learn more.
Summary
Mom judging is pervasive, but certain behaviors need to end. Whether it’s how we give birth, the way we feed our kids, when we start them in school, or how we manage them in public, every family has unique circumstances that shape their decisions. Let’s focus on supporting each other instead of passing judgment.