When my boys were just 9, 7, and 6, I had a rather intense encounter with PMS that turned into a teachable moment. We were on a lengthy car ride when my mood took a nosedive, and I felt compelled to explain what PMS really means. I recognized that I was on edge, cramping, and craving sweets, and it was high time for them to understand that sometimes, women face challenges with their monthly cycles.
I took a deep breath, apologized for my irritation, and explained that PMS can amplify emotions like hunger or sadness. My boys listened quietly, and for a brief moment, I felt like a parenting superstar. We were ready to embrace a lovely Saturday, but that was short-lived.
At lunch, however, one of my sons began to act out, and after several reminders to behave, he blurted out, “You’re just mad because you have your period!” It felt like the world had stopped. The reactions around us were priceless—everyone’s eyes widened as they turned to look at me. Our lunch guest awkwardly faced the wall, clearly not wanting to witness the chaos unfolding.
Naturally, I had to excuse myself. When emotions run high, it’s best to step away, especially around kids.
Since that day, I’ve made sure to share four important lessons with my sons:
1. PMS is a Real Experience
PMS affects many women, and while I strive not to use it as an excuse, it sometimes affects my mood. Just as I would address any other behavior that’s out of line, I encourage them to understand that mood swings can be a part of this monthly cycle. However, if they choose to talk about my moods, they should do so from a safe distance—preferably without me around.
2. Approach with Caution
If they find my PMS bothersome, they should express their feelings gently. It’s vital to handle sensitive topics with care. They should be informed about women’s health issues since one day, they might have a wife or daughter. Calmly explaining their feelings is key—perhaps even leaving a bag of Doritos on the counter as a peace offering wouldn’t hurt, but it’s not mandatory. They should also avoid crass terms like “on the rag” or “bitch week.” Just don’t say it.
3. A Little Pampering Goes a Long Way
Just like I care for them when they’re under the weather, it would be nice for them to show some kindness when I’m dealing with discomfort. A small treat or a foot rub can make a world of difference when enduring the monthly challenges that come with PMS.
4. Avoid Being Insensitive
The most crucial lesson is to simply not be insensitive. Be it discussing PMS or deciding whether to offer support, it’s all about treating the women in their lives with respect. They need to remember that the challenges women face each month are significant. To truly understand that, they can imagine a scenario that’s less than pleasant.
Although it may seem unfair that they have to navigate my mood swings and cravings, they should acknowledge the effort that goes into motherhood. The experience of giving life is profound, and empathy will take them far in life.
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Summary
Understanding PMS is crucial for young boys as they grow into respectful men. By explaining its realities, encouraging gentle communication, promoting kindness, and fostering empathy, we can prepare them for future relationships and help them navigate the complexities of women’s health.