Let’s be real: when you’re dealing with your period, it’s not exactly the time for side-splitting laughter. The discomfort of your uterus can feel anything but funny. However, there’s a saying that goes, “laughter is the best medicine.” That’s where these cheeky period jokes come into play.
While they might not be as soothing as a warm heating pad paired with a tub of your favorite ice cream, these jokes are sure to provide some distraction (and maybe even a chuckle) during those not-so-fun days. And if you find yourself needing a giggle about other body-related topics, don’t forget to check out our lighthearted takes on breasts next!
Period Jokes to Brighten Your Day
- Did you hear about the rapper who only performed during her period? They said she had a mean flow.
- Period: Guess who’s back… Me: Ugh, can we skip today? Period: How about I return in nine months? Me: Please stop singing.
- This whole period situation is really cramping my style.
- What type of bikes do girls ride? Menstrual cycles!
- Girl: Hey, Mother Nature! It’s been a while. Mother Nature: UTERUS PUNCH!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tampon. Tampon who? You know exactly who I am!
- Periods teach you how to remove blood stains… which might explain why men get caught in murder stories more often.
- A woman walks into a pharmacy to buy tampons. She sees a deal: five boxes for just one dollar. She confirms with a clerk, “Is this for real?” The clerk replies, “Absolutely! No strings attached.”
- In American Sign Language, the sign for having your period is like punching yourself in the face… Accurate, isn’t it?
- People with irregular periods must really go with the flow.
- What’s an ovary’s favorite TV genre? Period dramas!
- Period: WAKE UP, YOU’VE GOT CRAMPS.
- Period: How about a whole chocolate cake for breakfast? Period: Feeling that back pain? Let’s fix that. Period: Find the biggest cookie and eat it. Period: Have you got your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen yet? Period: Got plans? Too bad. Sleep!
- Uterus: You didn’t really like those new underwear, did you? Also Uterus: Surprise!
- A woman’s period is like her body accidentally switching to caps lock on emotions once a month.
- Periods can be unpredictable— sometimes it’s a gentle creek and other times it’s like a tsunami warning.
- Those who work out to alleviate cramps are basically prepping for an apocalypse.
- My favorite mythical beings? The happy girls in tampon commercials!
- Getting your period is like being attacked by a dementor; happiness seems lost and only chocolate can save you.
- Uterus: Oh, you’ve got a jam-packed day? Me: Please, no. Uterus: And a sleepover? Me: … Uterus: What if something were to… Me: … Uterus: happen?
- Me: *has emergency supplies ready* Period: Nah. Me: *wears light clothing and has no supplies* Period: LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
- Uterus: Your period is over. Uterus: 😊 JK, here’s some brown sludge.
- Woman: I’m having the worst period! Husband: Are you sure you’re not ovary-acting?
- They should include prizes in tampon boxes—like, “Your period might suck, but here’s 50% off ice cream!”
- When I’m on my period and someone says “hi”: Me: Can you please be quiet?
- If you tossed a tampon into a crowd of guys, they’d freak out like in Monsters Inc. when George gets contaminated by a sock.
- Did you hear about the documentary screening on period jokes? The audience gave it a standing ovulation!
- Once, I panicked because I thought I’d been on my period for 23 days… turned out it was only three hours.
- Me 80% of the time: *stoic expression* Me on my period: “Why am I crying?” “I DON’T KNOW!”
- After an hour of cramps, I say, “I can handle this pain.” Uterus: “How about this?”
- When you have cramps but haven’t started yet, it’s like your uterus is teasing you with the Jaws theme.
- Getting out of the shower on your period? It’s a race against time and gravity.
- What do you dread doing while on your period? Coughing? Sneezing? Laughing? Breathing? Living?
- Why can’t periods just last an hour? Okay, I got the message—I’m not pregnant!
- Me: I can’t wait to have a mini-me. Period: *shows up late* Me: …
- Why do girls want to be mermaids? No pants, no periods, perfect hair—NO PERIODS!
- Heat can help with cramps. You can use a heat pad, or you know, just rip your uterus out. That should do it!
- Me, writing in my shipwreck diary: “Food supply should last a month.” Period: “LOL.”
- How do you confuse a historian? Give them a tampon and ask them what period it’s from.
Humor about menstruation may not always hit the mark, but it’s a fun way to cope with the ups and downs of the monthly cycle. For more on related topics, be sure to check out our other blogs, like this helpful one on menstrual cycles and in-depth guides about periods and home insemination. You can also find excellent resources for understanding what to expect when you have your first IUI here.
Summary
This article features 39 cheeky jokes about menstruation, providing a lighthearted distraction from the discomfort of periods. From witty one-liners to relatable anecdotes, these jokes highlight the humorous side of a monthly occurrence that many would rather avoid discussing.