Starting a family has not been as straightforward for my partner and me as it is for many others. We faced the challenges of unexplained infertility, which led me into a profoundly dark emotional space. I felt resentment and anger towards every woman who seemed to conceive effortlessly. Even now, nearly six years later—with one miscarriage, a D&C, a stillborn son, and two beautiful twin daughters conceived through IUI—the bitterness lingers. I often find myself envious of those who appear to be perpetually expecting, thinking, “It must be nice.” The struggle we endured is a constant reminder of the journey we took.
My path through infertility did not lead to IVF but did involve Clomid, HSG tests, self-injections, blood draws, transvaginal ultrasounds (a surprise to me!), IUI, progesterone suppositories, ovary checks, sperm counts, and an array of other procedures. The emotional scars of our journey run deep and, while they may fade over time, they will always be a part of me.
If you have faced or are currently navigating infertility, you will likely resonate with this list—and may even have more to add.
You know infertility is part of your life when…
- Pregnancy announcements from others bring tears to your eyes.
- The phrase “just relax” infuriates you.
- You hear parents complain about their kids and think, “You have no idea how lucky you are.”
- Strolling past the baby aisle in stores makes your heart ache.
- A child shouting “Hi Daddy!” in public can unexpectedly break you down (I speak from experience; it happened to me at IKEA).
- Pregnant women seem to be everywhere, and you can’t escape them.
- Conversations about conception become clinical and detached.
- You find yourself attending endless baby showers, wondering when your time will come.
- You have gained more knowledge about conception than the average person.
- You drive to the fertility clinic with a specimen bottle nestled between your legs to keep it warm.
- “Trying” transforms into a chore.
- You conquer your fear of needles due to countless blood tests.
- You stop saying “when we have kids” and start saying “if we have kids.”
- Each month, when “Aunt Flo” arrives, you find yourself emotionally shattered.
- You delete the Pinterest board you created for future children.
- Photos of friends’ babies evoke mixed feelings of happiness and jealousy.
- Social media becomes unbearable (especially avoiding Facebook).
- You pray daily for the blessing of a child.
- You cycle through feelings of bitterness.
- You seriously contemplate adopting another pet.
- You have an app on your phone to track your cycles, even if it hasn’t been particularly helpful.
- You keep a secret Pinterest board dedicated to infertility (we all do it!).
- Your close friends and family are well aware of your reproductive health and your partner’s sperm health.
- A simple diaper commercial can reduce you to tears. (Thanks a lot, Johnson & Johnson!)
- When your annual bonus at work is announced, your first thought is about how it will cover fertility appointments.
- When a pregnant person complains about morning sickness, you mentally shout, “STFU! You’re pregnant!”
- You have to unfollow any Pinterest boards related to children.
- Your fridge has a special shelf just for your injectable fertility meds.
- You have a personal sharps container for used needles.
- Your partner becomes your nurse, learning how to administer your injections, or you teach yourself to do it.
- You have a playlist to boost your spirits during this journey.
- You text about infertility so often that your autocorrect starts changing simple words to fertility-related terms—like turning “any” into “AMH” and “on” into “OB.”
- Your abdomen bears the bruises and soreness from all the injections and hormones.
- You must discuss your treatment plans with your employer, explaining the need for frequent appointments.
- You realize your inner strength is greater than you ever imagined.
- Each month, despite your best efforts to guard against disappointment, you find yourself hoping for the best once again.
For more insights, check out this informative blog that delves deeper into these experiences. If you’re looking for expert guidance, Intracervical Insemination offers valuable information on this topic. Additionally, for a comprehensive understanding of IVF, visit this excellent resource.
In summary, the journey through infertility is fraught with emotional ups and downs. It’s a path that many walk alone, yet the shared experiences can foster a sense of community and understanding among those who face similar challenges.