I absolutely love my daughter! She is, as the world’s best nanny would say, “practically perfect in every way.” She’s kind, affectionate, inquisitive, joyful, and gives the most delightful hugs. However, there’s one area where she struggles… she’s a terrible sleeper.
This may stem from her lack of self-soothing skills and her belief that my presence is the only remedy for her nighttime woes. When she wakes up and finds me absent, she doesn’t know what to do but cry. (Sorry, gentlemen, but doesn’t this sound like a common scenario?) As she approaches 19 months, and given that my sleep has been disrupted for the past 28 months, I think it’s time to set some boundaries and embark on a sleep training journey. Here’s my 30-step plan for sleep training my toddler:
- Follow her usual bedtime routine, which includes rocking and nursing—perhaps if she’s cozy enough, she’ll stay asleep through the night.
- Proceed with my typical evening routine, which often means hitting the sack around 2:00 a.m.
- Snuggle into bed, tossing and turning until I find that comfy spot.
- Begin to drift off, just about to enter REM sleep.
- Is that a baby crying? I wonder where it’s coming from.
- Receive a nudge from my partner, “The baby is crying.”
- Unwrap myself from my warm cocoon, preparing to get out of bed while my partner suggests, “Just let her cry.”
- Cover back up and stare at the ceiling, listening to my baby’s cries.
- After twenty minutes, I’m left fuming as my partner snores away while my baby yells, “Mommy! Moooooommmmmmy!”
- Get out of bed, close the bedroom door to avoid waking my partner, and ensure the other kids stay asleep.
- Stand at my baby’s door, wishing for her to stop crying.
- Almost drifting off while standing, I resolve to lie down in the hallway to listen to her cries, hoping to absorb the sound.
- Start to doze off, only to be jolted awake by a sharp pain in my hip from the hard floor.
- Realize my baby is now sobbing uncontrollably.
- Think, forget it, and head into her room.
- Plan to just shush her and pat her back, but melt when she smiles and reaches out for me saying, “Mommy!”
- Scoop her up and lose myself in her little hug and sweetness.
- Sway back and forth with her until her head drops onto my shoulder.
- Convinced she’s asleep, I gently lay her back in her crib.
- Yell, “CRAP!” and dash out when she immediately bolts back up.
- Retreat down the hall, close the door, and bury my head under blankets and pillows.
- Realize I can still hear her yelling, “MOMMY!!”
- Hear my 9-year-old in the hall, understanding my baby is on the verge of waking everyone.
- Toss off the covers with an exaggerated sigh.
- Encounter my 9-year-old, who says, “Mom, the baby wants you.”
- Completely give in by picking up my toddler, getting cozy in the rocking chair, and nursing her to sleep. Oh, the cramp in my backside!
- Acknowledge I’ll be stuck in this routine until she’s in kindergarten or I can afford a professional sleep expert.
- Place her down, sound asleep, and tiptoe out of the room as the sun rises, reminding myself that this stage won’t last forever.
- Who cares, really? Not me. Not at all.
This article was originally published on Sep. 15, 2015.
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In summary, sleep training a toddler can be an uphill battle filled with challenges and emotional moments. Balancing affection and discipline is vital to help your little one learn to sleep independently. Remember, this phase of their life is temporary, so embrace the journey!