Can you do self-insemination at home ?
Let’s be honest: no one eagerly awaits the announcement of “Monday! Monday! Monday!” on the radio or TV. Mondays are often filled with the dull realities of life—returning to work or school, tackling overflowing inboxes, and endless meetings where someone asks, “Did you think about that over the weekend?” No, I was trying to enjoy my weekend! Mondays can feel overwhelming, which is why they have a reputation for being universally disliked. After all, there’s a whole genre of motivational quotes aimed at getting you from those dreaded Sunday blues to a brighter Tuesday.
But why not find humor in the madness? A well-timed joke can help lighten the load of the weekly grind. Whether you’re dealing with a flat tire, navigating a breakup, or missing your playful puppy, laughter is the best medicine. And Mondays? They’re no exception! Here’s a collection of jokes to bring a smile to your face, perfect for getting through the most mundane tasks (like that meeting with Development, which could have just been an email, right, Molly?).
- Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor is a different story.
- A day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours, just like a Monday here on Earth!
- Look on the bright side: at least Mondays only come once a week.
- When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
- What annoys NFL players the most at the start of the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
- If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
- Sunday and Monday are in a brawl. Who wins? Sunday, because Monday is a weekday!
- Monday is a terrible way to spend one-seventh of your life.
- What do you call a Monday without Zoom meetings? Meetless Monday.
- What’s the saddest sound on a Monday? Alarm clocks!
- What do schoolchildren wish for on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday!
- I like Tuesday because it’s the furthest from the next Monday.
- What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mornings.
- Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these jokes? He found them un-humerus.
- A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
- God gave us Mondays to make up for the fun we had over the weekend.
- What did the cyclops say on Monday? “Eye just can’t make it to work today!”
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday—I blinked and it’s Monday again.
- How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted!
- Why did the cat skip school on Monday? He wasn’t feline well.
- Why did Boba Fett sleep all week? He was a Mondaylorian!
- If every day is a gift, can I return Mondays?
- What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
- What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
- Which day are demons most exhausted? De-Monday, just like the rest of us!
- Mondays aren’t so bad! Just 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
- What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings.
- What do you call someone happy on a Monday? Unemployed.
- On Monday, we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday!
- What did the cashew say on Monday morning? “Monday drives me nuts!”
- Why did the corrupt calendar end up in prison at the start of the week? He was caught Monday laundering!
Feeling a bit better about Mondays? If you’re looking for more lighthearted content, check out this post. And for those exploring family-building options, this resource is a great place to start.
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In summary, Mondays may come with their challenges, but a good joke can help ease the transition into the workweek. So, when you find yourself struggling to get through the day, remember these jokes and share a laugh with friends and colleagues.