Let’s get real, folks. When I refer to “new” mom friends, I’m not talking about a young lady with a baby in tow. I mean the seasoned women—those with a few laugh lines and some gray hair they’re still trying to manage every few weeks. These are the warriors who’ve navigated life’s chaos, have great stories to tell, and are unapologetically themselves. These are my tribe.
In my early days of motherhood, friendships were scarce. I was in survival mode, fueled by coffee and a blend of desperation and sleep deprivation. I’m referring to grown women who consciously choose to spend time with me. (I know—it’s a mystery why they do!) While I enjoy chatting with fellow moms, it often remains at a surface level, like the casual nods we share during school pickups. A follow on social media? Not guaranteed.
For years, I had my best friend, Lily, and that was enough. I was new in town and a bit of an enigma to the established mom circles. Somehow, this spring, I found myself in a lively group of new mom friends who haven’t yet realized how weird I truly am—yet! It’s a blessing to have a solid crew of women to lean on for support, especially during those tough moments when you’re trying to navigate life’s little disasters.
Now, if you’re like me—an anxious extrovert with quirks and a few hang-ups—dating even one new mom friend can seem daunting. But suddenly being in a group? It’s like stumbling into a sisterhood of chaos! Here are three essential rules to help you thrive in this new mom friend landscape:
1. Maintain a Bit of Mystery
This rule applies whether you’re meeting face-to-face or navigating the challenging territory of group chats. Like in romantic relationships, the less your new friends know about your quirks (the anxiousness, the weird pet peeves, and the occasional overthinking), the better.
For instance, my new friends think I’m a total badass because of my past in sports. Instead of setting the record straight and revealing my true wimp status, I play along. If they knew I have a paralyzing fear of needles and the sound of biscuit cans popping open, they might reconsider their perception of me. It’s all about keeping that “badass” image intact, even if it’s a little fabricated!
2. Avoid Being Clingy
Oh boy, let’s talk about needing validation—something I’m admittedly guilty of. But in a group of strong women, everyone deserves their moment in the spotlight. As the resident Leo, it’s been a learning curve for me to offer support rather than constantly seek it. I’ve come to realize that lifting each other up not only strengthens our bond but also gives everyone a chance to shine. And let’s be honest, it’s probably a relief for Lily that she doesn’t have to constantly remind me how fabulous I am anymore!
3. Prepare Your Kids (and Yourself)
Let’s face it: kids are part of the equation, and they can bring their own brand of chaos. Prepare for those cringe-worthy moments when your child does something unexpected, like breaking a toilet or causing a mess. Forewarn your new friends about your child’s quirks—like their unusual bathroom habits—so they’re not blindsided by the chaos your little one might unleash.
Also, be ready for potential clashes when your kids meet. They may not mesh well, and you might find yourself in the midst of a messy situation. Apologize profusely and try to clean up the aftermath discreetly. Remember, it’s all about managing expectations; kids aren’t always going to behave like perfect little angels in new surroundings.
In the end, just be yourself—though maybe dial it back a notch at first so you don’t scare your new friends off before they get to know the real you. And finding a group that shares your quirks and parenting challenges can be a lifesaver—common ground goes a long way!
For more insights on navigating motherhood and family relationships, check out our post on fertility boosters for men and an excellent resource about the IVF process here. Also, don’t miss out on this article about Dr. Johnson receiving the Humanism in Medicine Award, which showcases authority in the field.
Summary
Navigating the world of new mom friendships can be tricky, but by keeping a little mystery, avoiding clinginess, and preparing your kids for interactions, you can cultivate meaningful connections without too much stress. Remember, every mom is just trying to figure it out, and a little understanding can go a long way!