As advancements in surrogacy technologies and success rates continue to rise, many still find the concept of surrogacy to be both unconventional and confusing. Having experienced it firsthand as a gestational surrogate—affectionately dubbed the “baby carrier”—for nine months, I had the privilege of bringing forth a beautiful child (often referred to as a “surro-baby”) for a couple of dear friends. Throughout this journey, I was inundated with inquiries from friends, colleagues, family, and even strangers. Among these questions, three stood out prominently.
1. Why did you choose surrogacy?
My motivation stemmed from love. Picture those serene moments at the end of the day when your children are peacefully asleep, and you sneak in for one last kiss. That overwhelming feeling of affection is why I stepped into this role. I wanted to assist another couple in experiencing that joy. Fortunate enough to have a nurturing family, a healthy body, and a functioning uterus, I offered my friends the chance to borrow it temporarily. In our case, the intended parents were both men, requiring some scientific assistance along with the generosity of an egg donor and myself.
2. How does the surrogacy process work?
When my family and I decided to pursue surrogacy, our initial research revealed the complexity of the journey, leading us to seek the guidance of a professional agency. This agency was instrumental in navigating the necessary steps and managing the extensive paperwork involved. After being matched with a couple who were also registered with the same agency, I underwent a process akin to in vitro fertilization (IVF), without the egg retrieval, as I opted against traditional surrogacy that would involve my own eggs.
The first step involved inducing a menopausal state in my body to prevent my eggs from interfering with the procedure. Subsequently, I underwent a process that made my body believe it was already three days pregnant, allowing for the transfer of a frozen embryo. Following this, I continued with hormone medication and injections until my body adapted and could support the pregnancy independently.
The pregnancy itself was relatively similar to my previous experiences, albeit with heightened emotions and physical symptoms. There was increased morning sickness, more ultrasounds, and amplified mood swings. As this was my third pregnancy and given that I wasn’t as young as before, it was understandable that I faced more challenges than in prior pregnancies. I received prenatal care locally, and the delivery took place at a nearby hospital. My husband, doula, and one of the fathers were present, while the other father hurriedly traveled to join us as the baby arrived sooner than anticipated. After spending 24 hours in the hospital, the new addition went home with her ecstatic, fatigued, yet immensely loving fathers.
3. Would you consider being a surrogate again?
Yes, I would without hesitation. However, if I were to start the process knowing everything I know now, I would still choose to do it. The experience was profoundly transformative, though at times overwhelming. Despite the challenges, I believe I emerged as a better person, and I am certain that the world is enriched by the presence of another loving family. Yet, if someone were to ask me to be a surrogate again, I might jokingly react by throwing up—such is the humor in reflecting back on the journey.
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In summary, surrogacy remains a profound, albeit complex, experience that can foster loving families. While it comes with its unique challenges, the joy of helping others achieve their dreams of parenthood is immeasurable.