Dear little munchkin,
I recognize you’re in the throes of your “wonderful” twos. And let me tell you, it’s been quite the ride. Today, like many others, you’ve tested my limits and patience in ways I didn’t think possible. You’ve been busily engaged in activities such as:
- Body slamming our cat who prefers solitude.
- Carrying the other cat upside down—he used to enjoy being held.
- Watching the first quarter of any movie and declaring it boring.
- Spitting directly at me while trying to give an “air raspberry.”
- Using the cat litter scoop to brush my hair.
- Dumping your entire bowl of Cheerios on the floor while yelling, “Eat, kitties, eat!”
- Searching through the trash for what I can only assume is a treasure trove of junk.
- Screaming at the sun for being too bright, even while you stubbornly keep staring at it.
- Hollering because the sun “went gone,” hidden behind a tree, leaving you indignant.
- Unbuckling your car seat while we’re still driving.
- Crying because I dared to put a dollop of ketchup on your plate, which you specifically asked for.
- Trying to flush your favorite toy cars down the toilet.
- Crying when you succeeded in your flushing mission.
- Telling me to sleep, yet preventing me from doing so.
- Typing up an “urgent” email on my laptop while I was rescuing a cat from your toddler antics.
- Asking if I’m finished in the bathroom for three minutes straight, followed by, “Do you need help?” I appreciate the offer, but I’ve handled this for a while now.
- Eating dirt off my shoes like it’s a gourmet meal.
- Emptying the fridge, especially the breakable items like eggs.
- Yelling “stinky poop” as you rip off your diaper while darting around the house (which, by the way, was indeed full of stinky poop).
- Attempting to scale the curtains like a little mountain climber.
- Dumping every item out of my dresser with glee.
- Licking doorknobs in places we don’t live.
- Eating just the cheese from your mac and cheese, then discarding the noodles.
- Asking for water every other minute, only to cry when it’s provided—because you wanted juice instead.
- Leaving bright orange Cheeto fingerprints on our television.
- Screaming when I inform you that I can’t get you a dragon because I’m not sure where the nearest dragon shelter is located.
- Asking for kisses and then slapping my face, declaring, “That’s gross!”
- And of course, making sure I know how much you love me—just moments after chaos ensues.
I love you dearly, but come 7:30 PM, you better be ready to hide if you want to avoid bedtime!
With love,
Your weary mom who is teetering on the edge of sanity.
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In summary, parenting a toddler can be a chaotic and exhausting experience, filled with unpredictable antics that test your patience. But amidst the madness, the love remains undeniable.