- Prioritize sleep. Less couch-surfing with my nose, please.
- Organize my toys. It’s high time I bid farewell to my former friend, the Bins of Chaos.
- Accept that certain items, like knives, pens, and loose change, are not suitable for my current lifestyle.
- Focus on my social interactions. Be kinder to familiar faces, and maybe a tad less friendly to strangers.
- Set a goal to minimize the surfaces I can touch in a public restroom—this is one statistic I want to improve.
- End my tumultuous relationship with the remote control. It’s caused enough family drama; I’m leaving it behind.
- Stop worrying about trivial matters. Broccoli mingling with mashed potatoes? Tasty! Stuffed animals in a new arrangement? Love it! A jacket that’s zipped up for the cold? So cozy!
- Be more eco-conscious. I’ll start by avoiding the thrill of shredding toilet paper all over the house.
- Boost my productivity. My first goal: cut the time it takes to put on pants from 28 minutes to 14. A lofty ambition, but I’m ready to challenge myself in 2024.
- Discover a new hobby. It should be something I can do solo for hours without interruption, inexpensive, and not involve collecting endless pieces.
- Learn a valuable new skill: aiming—whether it’s getting my food in my mouth or using the toilet correctly.
- Stop comparing myself to others. No more emulating older kids at the playground or throwing tantrums about being carried like my baby sibling.
- Embrace the current season of life—literally. I must wear a coat in winter and sunscreen in summer.
- Improve my appearance. Less maple syrup in my hair and more matching socks, please!
- Try to silence the internal alarm that wakes me at 5 a.m. when Mom and Dad are slightly hungover.
- Tackle my fears—be it visiting the doctor, dealing with owls, or the unknowns of brushing my teeth for more than 30 seconds.
- Understand that not all mail is addressed to me.
- Become a better sharer. Time to let go of the “I’d rather play with all the toy food alone than share with the playdate kid” mindset!
- Ponder bigger questions, like where all the mess I create actually ends up.
- Clean up my diet. I still don’t understand why I can’t survive solely on macaroni and cheese, but I’m willing to explore whether pasta with red sauce is really as groundbreaking as my parents claim.
- Learn to appreciate our belongings without the urge to touch them while holding a crayon.
- Cultivate patience. If 2024 isn’t about achieving the impossible, then what is it about?
- Rethink my reaction to the word “no.” The dramatic breath-holding didn’t work out in 2023.
- Break the habit of changing the dishwasher setting to rinse only. It’s thrilling, but I need to stop.
- Eliminate excess questions. First up: cutting down on the number of times I ask “why?” daily.
- Work on my trust issues. When my parents say a spontaneous game of tag in the Target parking lot isn’t wise, I’ll take their advice. And when my cousin suggests jumping from the top bunk, I might hesitate.
As for me, I’m considering a juice cleanse since my current diet consists mostly of pastry. I can see my toddler embracing that resolution as well—after all, who wouldn’t want to drink juice for days while avoiding any of my cooking? You can also check out our post on the at-home insemination kit for more parenting insights, or visit this comprehensive overview for expert advice on at-home insemination. Additionally, this resource offers excellent information on fertility and insurance matters.
Summary:
This article humorously outlines 26 resolutions that every parent wishes their toddlers would adopt in the new year. From prioritizing sleep and organization to tackling fears and embracing patience, these resolutions reflect the whimsical yet earnest desires of parents everywhere. Each resolution highlights relatable struggles and aspirations in the parenting journey, encouraging toddlers to develop skills and habits that can lead to a more harmonious household.