If you’re a parent, you’re likely familiar with the delightful yet unpredictable whirlwind known as a toddler. These little beings are adorable and often quite easy to irritate. Here are some humorous strategies to get under their skin:
- Dress them in jeans instead of their favorite comfy pants.
- Hold them either too tightly or far too loosely.
- Serve them salad at mealtime.
- Show affection to any siblings present.
- Prevent them from riding on your back while you do push-ups.
- Avoid giving them your undivided attention when they’re mastering potty training.
- Stand at the end of the slide at the park that launches them sky-high, just like you did for their sibling.
- Wear your new shoes that they once tried on, now declaring them theirs.
- Give them your sternest gaze.
- Withhold their right to push the tiny carts at the grocery store when you’re not up for the fuss.
- Allow the other kids to board the school bus without them.
- Deny them the chance to chat with Grandma on the phone for ages—by chat, I mean staring and grinning while trying to coax a word out of them.
- Prevent them from seeing their reflection on your phone while you attempt to snap a picture.
- Forget to kiss the precise spot of their injury—even if it’s on their bottom.
- Mention that it’s almost time to sleep, get dressed, or eat lunch—really, any suggestion will do.
- Stop them from drinking from every water fountain in every library and airport.
- Hold another baby in their presence.
- Offer them anything other than yogurt, crackers, or noodles.
- Move to another room without taking them along or even giving them a heads up.
- Overlook the fact they need to sit on your lap all day every Wednesday.
- Attempt to teach them how to zip up a zipper.
- Buckle them into their carseat on Tuesdays.
- Make statements like, “You must wear shoes to go outside.”
- Forget that they now believe pushing the buttons on the washing machine is their sole responsibility since you let them do it once.
- When they explicitly request no assistance, ignore them as they become tangled in their sweatshirt or underpants.
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In summary, toddlers are a unique blend of joy and challenge, and knowing how to playfully annoy them can bring a smile to your day.