Hot flashes? Sure. Cold feet, too?
As you near 50, you might find that you need a handful of ibuprofen just to press the elevator button.
You’ll feel youthful, until you catch your reflection.
Despite your age, inside you’ll still feel like you’re in your late teens or early twenties—until that moment when you look in the mirror and reality hits.
Less shaving? Yes, please!
Believe it or not, your legs might require significantly less upkeep.
Aging gracefully (or not)
Ever seen a turtle’s neck? You might start to relate to that image.
You’re surrounded by youth.
Everyone seems younger now—not just the celebrities, but your healthcare professionals and even acquaintances.
Single life has its perks.
When you’re unattached, you know what you desire and you communicate it clearly. Married intimacy is a different ballgame, but the imagination remains just as vivid.
Welcome to automatic AARP enrollment!
You might have thought you’d dodge that bullet, but no such luck!
Old grievances lose their grip.
You might still think about that incident from 1982, but it won’t consume your thoughts like it once did.
A liberating indifference
You’ll find that a lot of things that once mattered don’t faze you anymore—in a positive way.
Friendship standards change.
If someone cancels lunch three times, don’t hesitate to cut ties. Your time is too precious for that!
Wisdom in knowing your limits
True wisdom comes from recognizing how much there is still to learn.
Menopause can feel like a relief.
No more tampons or birth control! You’ll marvel at how you survived the chaos of those years.
You may see your mother’s reflection in yourself.
Congratulations! You’ve officially transformed into your mother.
Veins galore!
Who knew the body had so many visible veins?
Biopsy humor
When asked about scar placement during a biopsy, you’ll probably chuckle and say, “Just add it to the collection.”
Wine’s effects change
A glass of wine might not have the same soporific effect anymore; it could just wake you up at 3 a.m.
Savings account? What savings?
That bulging bank account you imagined at this age? That’s a laugh!
Younger friends
You’ll find yourself bonding with someone who is closer in age to your kids than to you, and it’s a surreal experience.
Cable news loses its charm.
Your tolerance for 24-hour news will drop to almost nothing.
Priorities shift
One day you’ll realize there are far more enjoyable ways to spend your time than watching the news.
A new perspective on human folly
You might become fascinated by human behavior, observing it like an anthropologist studying a unique culture.
Literary revelations
Rereading Shakespeare may lead you to appreciate his genius anew. Conversely, if a book doesn’t captivate you within ten pages, it’s going straight to the donation pile.
Parenting dividends
After years of raising children, you’ll enjoy the fruits of your labor when your once-dependents become interesting adults. You’ll think, “I’d hang out with these people even if they weren’t my kids!”
And just to avoid awkward topics…
Let’s steer clear of anything too personal about anatomy.
This article was originally published on May 17, 2015.