Around two decades ago, my father imparted a critical lesson: “If you desire something in life, you must position yourself to achieve it. Don’t rely on others to provide for you.” This conversation occurred as we washed up after dinner—he dried the dishes while I stowed them away. His words, probably a reaction to my teenage whims for a trendy purse or new shoes, unintentionally laid the groundwork for my understanding of feminism: strive for independence, take charge of your destiny, and recognize your own worth. Importantly, he affirmed his belief in my capabilities, emphasizing that I deserve respect and opportunities just like anyone else.
As parents, we are perpetually imparting lessons to our children, whether consciously or unconsciously. It’s vital that we remain aware of our values and beliefs to ensure that the teachings we convey align with our ideals. Though my family may resemble a traditional 1950s household (where my partner earns an income while I care for our young children), I identify as a feminist simply because I advocate for equality. Raising two sons means it’s crucial for them to grasp the principles of feminism and understand gender equality in the world around them.
Gender inequality impacts everyone, and it’s our responsibility to challenge the stereotypes, biases, and injustices that society imposes on children from a young age. We must instill the values of feminism and equality into our family’s foundation, allowing them to permeate our daily lives—whether during playdates, sports, or even while cleaning up after meals.
While many resources exist for teaching feminist principles to girls, I wanted to create a guide tailored to the unique challenges I anticipate with my sons. Thus, I compiled my own set of guidelines for raising empowered boys:
- Feminism is about equality, not femininity.
- Boys can be feminists too; enjoying sports or action movies doesn’t negate that. Similarly, my enjoyment of makeup or changing my last name doesn’t diminish my feminist beliefs.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to express emotions, including crying—just do so respectfully.
- Foster friendships with girls.
- Interests are not gender-specific; girls can love trucks and superheroes, just as boys can enjoy princesses and tea parties.
- Phrases like “like a man” or “like a girl” are meaningless—ignore them.
- Strength and sensitivity coexist; embrace both.
- Your anatomy doesn’t grant you privileges; it simply makes you human.
- Hold doors open for everyone—not as a gendered act, but as a display of kindness. Extend this courtesy to other manners, like pushing in chairs or putting the seat down.
- True beauty emanates from within, regardless of outward appearance.
- Treat others with kindness, whether buying flowers or paying for dinner. This is simply the right thing to do.
- Engage in intimate relationships only when both partners feel ready—not due to peer pressure or hormones.
- Consent is paramount: “No” means no, silence means no, and only an enthusiastic “yes” indicates agreement.
- Surround yourself with individuals who encourage you to be your best self, and be cautious of those who wish to change you.
- Fair pay for equal work is non-negotiable.
- Your identity is not confined to your gender, job, or material possessions; kindness, bravery, friendship, and respect define you.
- If you marry, don’t assume your partner will take your last name—it’s a personal choice unrelated to affection.
- Providing for your family goes beyond financial contributions.
- Make family care decisions based solely on what’s best for everyone involved, taking into account emotional and practical considerations that may evolve over time.
- Despite societal stereotypes, men can handle household chores and childcare.
- Apologizing shows strength, not weakness.
- Acknowledge your privileges and advocate for those without them.
- Cultivate sensitivity, empathy, and compassion.
- Embrace the differences among people as unique qualities, not limitations.
- Remember these principles—not to protect or privilege any group, but to foster fairness, equality, and respect, ultimately changing the world one small step at a time.
For more insights on parenting, check out this article about home insemination kits. You can also explore top tips for brides planning their weddings and visit WomensHealth.gov for valuable resources on pregnancy.
In summary, embracing feminism and teaching our sons about gender equality is essential, not just for their personal growth but for the betterment of society. This guide serves as a foundation for nurturing thoughtful, respectful, and empowered individuals.