Updated: May 18, 2020
Originally Published: May 7, 2015
Since becoming a mother, I’ve found myself grappling with more questions than I ever thought possible. I ponder my disciplinary methods, my parenting philosophies, and whether syrup could possibly be considered a food group. I also reflect on my mental well-being, personal hygiene, and ways to ensure my kids aren’t too disruptive in public settings. This whole journey feels like one giant enigma.
Here are 25 more questions I’ve recently found myself asking:
- Who are these little humans, and why do they keep calling me Mom?
- How many times can an adult endure Mr. Noodle’s antics before contemplating drastic measures?
- If I chuckle when she drops that curse word, will I unleash a thousand repetitions?
- Am I the only one who can hear the dog begging to go out?
- How many tears in these jeans will lead to a misdemeanor charge?
- How did I overlook my slender figure at 22?
- Will I ever remember that dinner needs to be cooked every single night?
- Am I the only one who thinks growing a human inside you is a bit like a scene from Alien?
- If I carry tissues and gum, does that officially qualify me as a mom?
- My body will eventually return to its normal state, right? Right?!
- Did I genuinely believe my college life was challenging?
- How many days without a shower does it take to officially become a hippie?
- If I try to speak with my mouth closed, will they notice I’m sneaking their Easter candy?
- If I search for myself online, will I find a picture of an old dishrag?
- How can one be so irate over the ‘wrong’ shirt while wearing their underwear backward?
- Does he really think I’ll buy his story with that eye twitch?
- Is adulthood merely the realization that sleep trumps everything else?
- Will she ever master speaking in a voice that is audible to humans?
- How can I feel too old for the Juniors section at Target yet too young for the Women’s?
- How long can I wipe the same countertop before my head starts spinning?
- How long until My Fitness Pal catches on to my fibs?
- Are all kids this quirky?
- Does my mom truly love me this much?
- If one lone sock is left on the stairs while I’m away, does it even exist?
- If no one is touching me, do I really exist?
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In summary, motherhood brings with it an avalanche of questions that often leave us feeling bemused. As we navigate through the chaos, it’s vital to remember we are not alone in these contemplations.