Navigating the challenges of parenting an anxious child can feel like an uphill battle. While I generally strive to be a patient parent, my daughter’s anxiety can push the limits of my patience. Logic and reasoning, my usual tools, often fall short when anxiety takes hold. Since her anxiety disorder doesn’t respond well to medication, we have developed our own arsenal of techniques, some of which cater to different ages and personal preferences. Here are twenty strategies to help soothe an anxious child during tough moments:
- Breathe Together
Instead of simply instructing your child to breathe, join them in deep breathing. When they see and hear you breathing, it can assist them in regulating their own breaths. - Reassure with “You Are Safe”
In moments of anxiety, children may feel immense fear. Assuring them that they are safe can help alleviate their distress, even when their fears feel overwhelming. - Acknowledge Their Feelings
Avoid dismissing their worries. Telling a child not to worry can invalidate their feelings. Instead, acknowledge that their anxiety is real, regardless of its origins. - Encourage Acceptance
Sometimes, fighting anxious thoughts can intensify them. Encourage your child to ride out their feelings, allowing them to pass naturally while you provide support. - Offer Support with “I’m Here”
When anxiety strikes, the most effective words may simply be “I’m here for you.” Providing reassurance can create a sense of security during overwhelming moments. - Focus on Physical Relaxation
Redirect their attention from racing thoughts to physical sensations. Encourage them to take deep breaths, relax their muscles, and feel their heart rate slow. - Inject Humor
Finding a way to make your child laugh can shift their perspective. Humor can help transform anxiety into excitement, allowing them to regain control over their feelings. - Get Moving
Anxiety often manifests as pent-up energy. Encourage physical activity—like jumping jacks or dancing—to help release that energy and reduce anxiety’s hold. - Stay Calm Yourself
In the heat of the moment, it can be tough to remain composed. However, your calm demeanor can be a stabilizing influence during your child’s anxiety episodes. - Help Name Their Emotions
Some kids need assistance articulating their feelings. Help them identify what they’re experiencing, making them feel understood and less alone. - Offer a Comforting Hug
A warm embrace can be soothing. If your child is receptive, a hug lasting longer than 20 seconds can release oxytocin, promoting calmness. - Guide Them Through Muscle Relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation can be effective. Have them tense and then relax each muscle group, starting from their toes and moving up to their head. - Strike a Power Pose
Encourage your child to stand tall like a superhero. Holding a power pose for 20–30 seconds can boost their confidence and reduce anxiety. - Engage the Senses
Distracting them with sensory experiences can shift focus away from anxious thoughts. Have them list things they can see, hear, smell, or touch. - Explain Brain Responses
If they’re old enough, explain how their brain reacts to perceived threats. Understanding that anxiety is a misfiring of their safety instincts can help them regain perspective. - Provide a Fidget
Offering a fidget toy or stress ball can give their hands something to do, which often helps to calm their racing thoughts. - Introduce a “Breathing Buddy”
Consider using aromatherapy. A small, soft toy infused with calming scents like lavender can bring comfort during anxious moments. - Visualize a Happy Place
Encourage your child to imagine their ideal safe space. The more detailed their description, the more effective this visualization can be in calming their mind. - Reframe Anxiety as a Tantrum
Instead of viewing anxiety as an attack, think of it as a tantrum. Just as you would with a toddler, give it space to subside before addressing it. - Empower Them with Strength
Remind your child of their resilience. Affirming their strength can help them feel more capable of handling anxiety.
Managing a child’s anxiety is no small feat. By sharing effective strategies, we can all contribute to a more supportive environment for our little ones. While not every tactic will work for every child or situation, having a variety of tools at the ready is always beneficial.
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Summary
This article provides twenty unique strategies for calming anxious children, such as deep breathing, physical activities, reassurance, and sensory engagement. By employing these techniques, parents can help their kids manage anxiety more effectively, creating a supportive and understanding environment.