The adage rings true: everything transforms once you embrace parenthood. While I had heard this countless times, I never truly comprehended the extent of these changes until I found myself navigating life as a parent. It’s as if my existence can be neatly categorized into two distinct phases: BK (before kids) and AK (after kids).
- Bathroom Breaks: In the BK era, using the bathroom was a peaceful solo affair. In stark contrast, AK has turned it into a chaotic event where I often find myself with a toddler at my feet, demanding attention while I try to find a moment of privacy.
- Drinking Habits: I used to think three drinks were the perfect amount to feel tipsy without losing control. Now, on the rare occasions I venture out, I’m limited to one drink. More than that leads to a restless night filled with bathroom trips and a hangover that feels like I’ve downed ten cocktails.
- Brunch Timing: Back before kids, brunch started leisurely at 11am. Now, it’s a race to lunch by 11am, as early-morning routines have taken over.
- Sleep Patterns: I never stressed about sleep deprivation, as weekends were my time to catch up. Now, every day begins at the same early hour, regardless of the day, with weekends offering little respite since school is out.
- Dining Choices: Dining out used to be all about culinary options. Now, the selection is dictated by which establishments have a children’s menu, accommodating seating, and are open early enough for a family meal.
- Eating Dynamics: I used to savor meals when hunger struck, with every bite thoughtfully chosen. Now, I find myself shoveling food in hurriedly, often finishing my child’s leftovers whenever I get a rare moment to eat.
- Romantic Gestures: Prior to kids, romance was synonymous with wine and fancy dinners. Nowadays, doing the dishes feels like the ultimate romantic gesture I can offer my partner.
- Celebration Shifts: Birthday parties were once opportunities for adult fun and overpriced drinks. Now, they’ve evolved into social gatherings with fellow parents, where attending my child’s friends’ parties is the highlight of my social calendar.
- Body Exposure: In my pre-kid days, I rarely showed any skin. Post-kids, my body has become a public display—breasts are everywhere, and the act of nursing has completely reshaped how I view modesty.
- Nightlife Adjustments: I used to be out and about after 9pm. Now, I’m tucked in bed, often by that same hour.
- Hair Care: Previously, I dyed my hair to experiment with colors. Now, the focus is on covering greys, as the signs of parenting become more visible.
- Hair Style Requests: Once upon a time, I asked my stylist for trendy cuts. Nowadays, my request is straightforward: keep it long enough to tie back quickly.
- Wardrobe Changes: I had three clothing sizes: thin, normal, and fat. After kids, my sizes have shifted to include my old fat clothes, transitional maternity wear, and maternity outfits. Elastic waistbands have become my new best friend.
- Home Location: I used to select my living space based on proximity to nightlife. Now, it’s all about being in a good school district.
- Home Décor: My pre-kid apartment featured cherished trinkets and art. Now, it’s filled with colorful drawings from my little artist and a collection of plastic toys that dominate the space.
- Bulk Buying: Prior to kids, bulk buying was unnecessary and impractical. Now, essentials like paper towels have become staples, and I always have an order ready in my shopping cart.
- Neighborhood Parties: I used to happily attend neighborly gatherings. Now, if those parties run late, my instinct is to call the authorities rather than join in.
- Sickness and Parenting: Being sick used to mean lounging around with soup and TV. Now, even when I’m unwell, I’m still juggling the demands of parenting without a moment to rest.
In summary, life after kids is a whirlwind of adjustments that permeate every aspect of daily living. From bathroom breaks to social gatherings, my priorities and routines have shifted dramatically, highlighting the profound impact of parenthood.
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