As I was driving home last Sunday, soaked from the rain after an exhausting tournament, my children piped up about continuing the fun by seeing a movie. I could barely keep my eyes open thinking about my warm bed, and honestly, if I weren’t driving, I might have dozed off.
Me: “Oh wow, that’s a fantastic idea! But wait, I just remembered — they don’t screen movies after 8 PM on Sundays. Darn it! Maybe tomorrow.”
I’m not above a little creative fib to maintain my sanity. My daughter Mia, who’s 9, took my statement at face value and returned to her game on my phone. My son Leo, 12, however, wasn’t so easily fooled. After a brief pause, he chimed in, “Mom, there’s an 8:25 showing!”
Curse you, internet, for ruining my last sanity-saving trick!
Let’s face it, moms do indeed lie — and a well-placed fib can mean the difference between a peaceful evening and a potential meltdown. It’s a skill we’ve honed over the years, using clever deceptions to navigate the daily chaos of parenthood. These little white lies can help us dodge tantrums, avoid arguments, or simply grant us a moment of tranquility.
Here are some classic lies mothers tell their kids to preserve sanity, decor, dignity, time, and finances (thanks to my brilliant Facebook followers for their contributions):
- Drive-thrus don’t serve ketchup.
- The lunch lady calls me whenever you leave your sandwich untouched.
- Our cat is allergic to Moon Sand, so it’s off-limits for her safety.
- No Tooth Fairy visit last night? That’s because she takes the third Tuesday of the month off. I should’ve mentioned that!
- Replacement batteries for that toy? Sorry, they don’t exist.
- Harry Styles doesn’t like kids who disobey their parents. Now, go brush those teeth and don’t forget to floss!
- Cartoons are off-air at night because that’s when the characters sleep.
- The ice cream truck only plays its song when it’s out of ice cream.
- All entertainment venues, like movie theaters and bowling alleys, close at 6 PM on weeknights.
- The restaurant I’m headed to with your dad doesn’t allow kids — they say inappropriate things.
- This isn’t a brownie; it’s a breakfast bar packed with protein and fiber. Want one?
- Animals are pleased to be chosen as food. Here’s some chicken — it will make it happy!
- Unicorns exist, but you only see them when you’re on your best behavior. Haven’t seen one? Be better!
- Babies are ordered online, and that baby sister you wanted is currently on back-order.
- Chuck E. Cheese’s is strictly for birthday parties; you can only go if invited.
- What do those signs say? Um, no running, no touching, no talking. (I’m in trouble when he learns to read!)
- The stuffed animals will miss their friends if we take them home from the store.
- I’m your mother; I would never lie to you!
These playful fabrications create a bit of breathing room in the hectic life of motherhood. For more insights on parenting and family life, consider checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, moms often resort to harmless lies to maintain their sanity and keep the peace at home. From creative distractions to playful fibs, these little deceptions serve as vital tools in the parenting toolkit.