As a lifelong night owl, my internal clock tends to run on a schedule that’s often at odds with society. I usually find myself turning in around 2 a.m. and rising at 10 a.m. In my pre-parenting days, I managed to navigate this lifestyle by securing jobs with later start times. However, children have their own schedules, and they’re rarely accommodating to late risers. I’ve talked with many fellow parents who also used to be blissfully unaware of what 7 a.m. looked like on a clock. Here are 18 truths that resonate with night owl parents.
- If you’re fortunate, your partner is an early bird, allowing you to share the nighttime duties—each taking a shift for feedings.
- If you find yourself paired with another night owl, you may both be bleary-eyed and grumbling at 2 a.m. while debating who should get up with the baby.
- You might invest a small fortune—around $9,000—on child-proofing to transform your living room into a safe haven, enabling you to catch a few winks while your little one plays at 6 a.m. A brief snooze can be bliss until a stray Lego finds its way into your mouth.
- You often find yourself yelling, “Just go to sleep!” as you scroll through the internet at 2 a.m., while your kids are peacefully dreaming.
- Yet, those late-night hours can feel magical. The world is quiet, full of opportunities to connect with friends far away or indulge in nostalgic TV shows like “Mork and Mindy.”
- When it’s your partner’s turn to sleep in, and they casually request coffee in bed, you might accidentally spill some of the now lukewarm brew on them while serving it up.
- You engage in an internal debate: Would you prefer to be woken three times at night but have everyone sleep until 8 a.m., or enjoy a solid night’s sleep but rise at 5:30 a.m.? Ultimately, it’s irrelevant—who can fall asleep by 9:30?
- The start of school is far too early.
- You often wonder about those parents who manage to look fresh and lively in the morning—where are their yoga pants and flip-flops?
- When the sign-up sheet for parent-teacher conferences appears, with slots starting at 7:05 a.m., you are tempted to scribble, “LOL WHO CARES!?”
- After a rare night out with old friends, you might think, “Why don’t I do this more often?” until the next morning when the 7 a.m. cry for breakfast pierces through your sleep.
- When it’s your partner’s turn to attend to the baby but they don’t wake up to the cries, you might feel like a divorce is on the table.
- The harshest mornings are when the noise of the children jolts you awake on a day you were supposed to sleep in.
- You become fixated on whose turn it is to handle the nighttime duties.
- You dream of having your own space where you can wake at your leisure, ideally with an endless supply of coffee. A mother-in-law suite or even a small bedroom would suffice—anywhere that’s free from Cheerios being placed on your forehead while you sleep.
- You know that being abruptly awakened feels like a fish, blissfully swimming in a warm stream, suddenly pulled out into a cold, chaotic world.
- You often find yourself crafting metaphors to express the shock of waking up too early.
- You begin to ponder the age at which a child can make their own breakfast—five? Six? Surely if they burn themselves, they’ll bounce back quickly.
These days, my sleep patterns are in disarray—I find myself waking early, sometimes even before my children, despite not wanting to. But this won’t last forever, right? Eventually, they’ll be able to get themselves ready for school. Then, perhaps I can look for a job again, ideally with a later start time. For those exploring paths to parenthood, check out this post on artificial insemination kits for more information. And for deeper insights into parenting, visit this excellent resource on artificial insemination.
Summary:
Night owl parents navigate a world that often demands early rising, creating a unique set of challenges and humorous insights. From the struggles of shared nighttime duties to the fantasies of solo mornings, these parents know the balance of sleepless nights and the joys of quiet late hours.