It feels like just yesterday you were counting tiny fingers and toes or searching for every possible colic remedy, and now you have a little human on your hands—small, yet bursting with strong opinions about everything! The days of simple pointing and wanting have transformed into a whirlwind of asking, yelling, singing, and creating chaos, complete with the occasional dramatic floor drop in frustration. You may find yourself bargaining, bribing, or sneaking away for a hidden chocolate break behind the refrigerator. Parenting can lead you to do things you never thought you would. You might even yearn for that detailed instruction manual that seems to be missing during these toddler years. In hindsight, you may even consider those early days a breeze.
Sure, it’s tempting to draw a bath—a luxurious one for yourself, ideally—but let’s be real. A quick shower with one eye on your toddler is likely more feasible. Remember to check that she hasn’t consumed a dangerous amount of toothpaste or taken a dip in the toilet, imitating the family dog. But hey, use that fancy soap; you deserve it!
Here’s the good news: the sleepless nights, constant feeding, and gas pains are behind you. You may have even changed your last diaper! But welcome to the new challenges of toddlerhood, where you must remind yourself regularly that toddlers are simply wild. When your two-year-old is in tears over the denial of gin (yes, this has happened), keep this mantra close.
Toddlers will request cheese, only to recoil in horror as if you’ve poisoned them. They’ll insist they wanted a strawberry, and once you comply, toss it aside to demand the cheese again—this time, a specific type on a particular plate, cut just so. They are like rock stars with outrageous demands.
This can lead to thoughts of leaving them at the fire station for a few hours. You’ll come to understand that their charm is an evolutionary survival tactic.
To help you manage your own little tornado, consider these suggestions:
- Secure the Toilet Lid: Get a clamp for it. My friend Nora learned the hard way when her daughter dumped an entire jewelry box into the toilet in mere seconds.
- Cat Food is Safe: If they nibble on cat food, don’t panic—it won’t harm them. My cousin’s daughter once munched on a dead lizard, and she was just fine. Toddlers are surprisingly resilient!
- Water Works Wonders: “If they’re crabby, put them in water.” This wisdom from SARK is tried and true. I’ve done this countless times.
- Embrace Play-Doh: It’s a fantastic distraction, but prepare for the inevitable—toddlers will try to eat it. Go with it; it’s salty!
- Physical Play is Essential: Like dogs, toddlers need ample outdoor play. Consider getting a gentle dog for them to play with for some extra fun.
- Eating Habits Vary: Trust that your toddler won’t starve. If they consume only crackers for days, they will survive. Remember, I thrived on ramen noodles and grilled cheese growing up, and now I enjoy quinoa and kale—a toddler won’t be eating kale anytime soon!
- Chasing is a Game: When they run away, don’t be upset. They crave the chase! They are practicing their independence and will always return to you.
- Messes are Normal: Remind yourself that “All messes can be cleaned up.” Toddlers can seem manic, but it’s part of their nature. It doesn’t mean they’ll end up as criminals.
- You Shape Their Reality: Kids believe what we tell them. While it’s okay to say the park is closed if you’re late, don’t exploit their trust.
- Empower with Positivity: Use your influence to foster a benevolent worldview. Let them know they are safe and that life is full of possibilities.
- Avoid Comparisons: Each child is unique. Don’t let your child’s progress be dictated by others; their journey is their own.
- Development is Unpredictable: Just because your friend’s child waved goodbye at six months doesn’t mean your child will hit every milestone on time. Love their individual journey.
- Respect Their Pace: Don’t force milestones. If they want to act like a baby one moment and a big kid the next, let them!
- Connect with Other Parents: They will provide support and understanding. You can cancel plans last minute without judgment, and kids will entertain each other while you sneak in some adult conversation.
- Live in the Moment: Enjoy the nice soap and chocolate you’ve hidden away. Parenting can be absurd, but it’s also your greatest joy and source of frustration.
- Learn Alongside Them: Your child’s physical milestones mirror your growth as a parent—trial and error, and occasional tumbles. Some days will be exhausting, but others will be filled with joy and laughter.
By taking these steps, you can navigate the delightful and chaotic world of toddlerhood. Remember, you’ve got this!
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