As I eagerly await the arrival of friends’ first child, I find myself reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned and the hopes I have for them. Unlike my earlier self, who thought I had it all figured out, these parents-to-be are open to the journey ahead. Here’s what I wish for them:
- I genuinely hope your little one develops a strong aversion to Caillou. Ideally, they’d steer clear of Max and Ruby, too, although that might be a stretch.
- I wish for your baby to discover a calming item that brings them peace—a sort of baby mute button, whether it’s a pacifier or a plush giraffe. And fingers crossed, it won’t be your breast. (My older child had a pacifier and a beloved blanket named Charlie.)
- I hope that your baby only chooses one major challenge from the classic list: sleepless nights, car ride meltdowns, potty training struggles, or diaper change protests. It seems like every parent I know has had to deal with at least one of those.
- I hope your baby takes a liking to the way you want to carry them, be it in a bucket, sling, or ergonomic carrier—without expecting to sleep in these positions.
- I wish you stay away from Pinterest for now. There’s a time for those creative inspirations, but it’s not while you’re adapting to parenthood.
- I hope you can make lists without repeating items and then insisting to your partner that you haven’t.
- I hope you remember that television didn’t ruin you, nor will it ruin your child. If it’s a concern for you, I hope your friends are understanding about it.
- I hope you don’t encounter a seemingly wise individual in a department store who pushes their parenting method—whether it’s attachment parenting or something else—only to leave you feeling inadequate when it doesn’t suit your baby.
- I wish for you to have at least one good friend to confide in—whether from a forum, high school, or a prenatal class. I didn’t have the nurturing Lamaze group I envisioned; instead, I leaned on my high school bestie and a supportive lactation consultant named Laura.
- I hope someone gives you a heads-up about the postpartum experience, using phrases like “mesh underwear” and “surfboards” to describe the necessary supplies.
- I hope your partner is supportive, whether by offering help or knowing when to step back and let you breathe.
- I wish you get the grace you need from those around you, without having to resort to any dramatic pleas for understanding.
- I hope you remember it’s not a competition. There will always be parents trying to one-up each other, but they’re likely dealing with their own insecurities.
- I wish you a realistic understanding of what a “post-baby body” entails and that you steer clear of any articles with that title. Recovery takes time, and models in magazines often have genetics and a little magic on their side.
- Most importantly, I hope you realize, as I did far too late, that you are naturally equipped to be your child’s parent. You can do this! Your instincts will guide you, and all your baby truly desires is you—dark circles and all.
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Summary
In this piece, I share heartfelt wishes for new parents, emphasizing support, realistic expectations, and the importance of trusting their instincts. From avoiding parenting competitions to finding comfort in friendships, these insights aim to ease the transition into parenthood.