My daughter is 5, and let me tell you, she possesses an incredible spirit. When she falls, she brushes off the blood and keeps playing. This year, she was the sole girl on her soccer team and scored the majority of the goals. She stands up for herself during playground disputes, and once, when I picked her up from preschool, she was furious because the boys wouldn’t let her race—turns out it was because she kept beating them.
Raising a fearless girl isn’t always straightforward. It comes with strong opinions and intense emotions, and I anticipate getting to know her kindergarten teacher quite well next year. Our goal is to empower her to maintain her natural skills as she grows. She uses her voice, tells us when we’re mistaken, and never offers unnecessary apologies.
At 40, I’m still working on many of these traits. Here are some strategies we’re using to ensure she continues to thrive:
- Encourage Self-Expression
We let her order her own food at restaurants and engage with adults, teaching her to communicate directly with her teachers about any issues. - Celebrate the Messy Stuff
We’ve never made a fuss over dirt, bugs, or anything considered gross, so she views all creatures as friends. - Roughhousing is a Regular Event
Even if I can’t watch most of it, my partner initiates nightly wrestling matches. Research shows that roughhousing builds resilience and strengthens parent-child bonds, so I keep quiet. - Embrace Natural Bodily Functions
While we teach manners, we don’t shame her for burping or farting. It’s all part of being human. - Stay Calm in the Face of Chaos
Spills, falls, and minor injuries don’t warrant dramatic reactions from us. We keep a relaxed atmosphere to help her feel secure. - Provide Thought-Provoking Toys
She enjoys dolls and dresses, but we also prioritize building blocks and complex puzzles to stimulate her mind. - Introduce Strong Role Models
While I may not be as fearless as she is, I challenge myself often—like learning to ski at 38—and I aim to set a positive example for her. - Encourage Choices and Accept Failures
Celebrating failures can be tough, but we believe that learning from them now will help her make better choices as a teenager. - Teach Her to Trust Her Instincts
Every child has an inner voice that signals when something feels off. Our job is to nurture that intuition. - Practice Active Listening
With so much on her mind, we strive to ensure she feels heard during our conversations, especially when she’s sharing something important. - Practical Skills Matter
She knows how to pee in the woods. It’s a handy skill, believe me. - Foster Mutual Respect
We discuss appropriate ways to communicate desires and boundaries. It’s all about balancing respect in our interactions. - Normalize Emotions
Crying is healthy and helps process feelings. I want her to understand that expressing emotions is a sign of strength. - Expose Her to Diverse Experiences
We explore various activities together, from skateboarding to fashion design, to discover what resonates with her. - Let Go of Perfection
Sometimes she leaves the house looking like a whirlwind hit her, but choosing her outfit empowers her, so I let it slide.
In summary, while she’s only 5, I believe we’re laying a solid foundation for her to become a formidable adult. I just hope we all make it through her childhood without too much chaos.
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