My little one is nearly two, and joins a long line of toddlers who have graced my home. Let’s be honest: toddlers can be the worst housemates ever. While many parents talk about the challenge of apologizing to their children, I find myself longing for a few heartfelt apologies from my toddler. If she ever recognized her mischief and chose to express regret, here’s what I would love to hear:
- I apologize for taking three bites of three bananas and then hiding them beneath the rocking chair. That was inconsiderate and quite odd, not to mention a hit to our grocery budget. I hope you can still count on me to contribute to my college fund.
- Remember when I thought it would be hilarious to pour water on Mom’s new laptop? That was really thoughtless and costly. I mistakenly believed water was meant to be there. I’m sorry for that!
- I regret ruining your intimate moments.
- Last month, when I made a mess in the bathtub and then got distracted by the plunger—sticking the end in my mouth—was definitely crossing a line. I can only imagine how frustrating it was for you to deal with that while trying to clean up. I promise I’ll start using the toilet. Tomorrow. For sure.
- I’m sorry for rummaging through your underwear drawer and wearing your boxers on my head while the neighbors dropped off a quiche. It was super awkward, and I bet everyone is gossiping about the state of your underwear now.
- Every time I see a Popsicle and scream, I realize how irritating that must be. I really want one, though! I’ll try harder to ask politely.
- I sometimes wipe my boogers on your jeans, leaving a suspicious stain. I’m sorry about that—I’ll start using tissues from now on.
- I promise never to take my pants off in public again.
- I’ll do my best not to jump on your lap when you’re sitting on the sofa. I just get so excited! This might be why I don’t have a baby brother or sister.
- You remember when I tossed your wallet in the garbage? It seemed funny at the time, but now I see it was a bad idea. I owe you a drink.
- I can’t believe I kept you awake all night because I couldn’t find a comfortable position. That was selfish of me, especially since you had work the next day while I napped all day. I’m really sorry for that.
- I apologize for any time I might have accidentally vomited in your mouth. That was gross.
- I realize breaking your glasses with a toy saw was a major blunder. You were without them for over a week, and I see now that it was inconsiderate of me.
- While I can’t promise to stop filling my pants, I can be more cooperative during changes and stop wiggling and crying. I’m sorry for the past, and I want us to work together moving forward!
- I promise to never jab my finger in your eye when you try to hug me. I love you, Mom!
Are these apologies too much to wish for? Sadly, yes. But a parent can dream, right? If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our post on home insemination kits. Additionally, for those navigating the journey of motherhood, this resource offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. For empowerment in conception, read more here.
In summary, parenting a toddler often feels like living with a tiny tornado of chaos. While we may not hear the apologies we wish for, the journey is filled with laughter, love, and the hope for better days ahead.