Last weekend, I took my children to visit my mother’s childhood home in the Mississippi Delta. They were fascinated by the stories of her youth, like the time she danced on the icebox in her parents’ grocery store. However, what left a lasting impression on them was witnessing the stark poverty in the area—a reality unlike anything they had encountered, even in New York City. They were puzzled by the dilapidated houses, empty storefronts, and the overall absence of the comforts they often take for granted. As any child would, they quickly began to compare their life experiences with those they observed: Where are the schools? What jobs do people have if there are no businesses? Is Minecraft even available here?
For my partner and me, this trip prompted a deep reflection on the values we instill in our children regarding money—not the mechanics of saving or budgeting, but the broader implications of what money represents. We grappled with questions about the mindset we want them to adopt and the role we hope money will play in their lives. Here’s what we came up with:
- If you can easily choose between a $15 item and a $25 item, recognize that you’re in a privileged position.
- Remember, people create wealth; wealth does not define who people are.
- Money is just one factor influencing behavior—there are many others.
- Consider how you would feel being judged based on your financial status; others feel the same.
- Money’s value is subjective. What seems like a small amount to you may be significant to someone else. So, avoid casually saying you’re “broke” when you still have your basic needs met. It’s also just annoying.
- If you choose to drink at social outings, be prepared to cover your share of the bill. Don’t assume others will split costs evenly; always offer to pay your full part—especially if you’re indulging.
- Don’t expect the wealthiest friend to always treat you. If they offer, that’s great, but don’t take it for granted. It can be uncomfortable to feel that people only socialize with you because of your willingness to pay.
- If something is out of your budget, don’t go. Allow yourself a moment of disappointment, then move on. If you have friends and a job, focus on the positives.
- Never feel the need to apologize for your financial situation, whether you’re thriving or struggling.
- There will always be those who have more and those who have less. Accept this reality and focus on whether you have what you truly need.
- Cash is the simplest form of payment. A wise mentor once told me this. Paying with cash can often avoid the emotional complexities that come from owing favors or navigating difficult relationships.
- Most things in life come with a cost, even if they appear free at first. For instance, if a friend offers legal help without charging, it may lead to unspoken tensions or emotional obligations. Reflect on whether the trade-off is worth it.
- If you ever find yourself in a position to afford anything, remember you’re never above doing hard work again. Keep in mind the determination and stress that came during tougher times, and understand the true value and limitations of money.
Yes, even if it means sacrificing some fun, like no Minecraft.
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In summary, these lessons aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of money that transcends mere financial transactions. By instilling these values, we hope to equip our children to navigate their lives with a balanced perspective on wealth, responsibility, and emotional intelligence.