In the year following my separation, a certain term has emerged frequently in conversations with friends and even in discussions with potential partners regarding my status as a single mom. Lately, the word “fearless” has been a recurring compliment that people use to describe me.
Initially, I wasn’t sure how to handle this label. When I think of someone who’s fearless, I envision an edgy individual—perhaps someone with a unique style and a bold attitude. However, as a 34-year-old suburban mother of two with a tightly organized meal plan and a strict bedtime, “fearless” wasn’t a descriptor I ever expected to apply to myself.
But I’ve come to realize that when multiple people recognize a quality in you that you might not see yourself, it’s worth taking notice. I’ve grown to appreciate this fearless label, and I now fully embrace it. Could you also wear this badge of honor? Here are 12 indicators that you’re a fearless single mom:
- You Face the Future with Courage. This doesn’t mean you’re brave every moment of every day. As Anne Lamott wisely said, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” Accept that while you may feel scared, deep down you have the strength to navigate whatever life throws at you.
- You Get Things Done. From taking out the trash to managing bills and keeping a tidy house, you handle these responsibilities alone. Each task you complete is a testament to your dedication.
- You Define Your Own Worth. Instead of seeking validation from others, you strive to improve upon your past self. The opinions of your ex or anyone else do not dictate your value. Remember, only you can define who you are.
- You Live by Your Own Standards. Your priorities are clear, and you don’t apologize for what matters to you. While you may prioritize healthy meals for your family, matching outfits are a lower concern. It’s your home and your rules.
- You Prioritize Self-Care. Whether it’s saying no to social events to indulge in some personal time or budgeting for a gym membership, you understand that taking care of yourself is essential to being the best mom you can be.
- You’re Comfortable Handling Life Alone. From laundry to doctor appointments, you manage it all without needing another adult. This independence is a testament to your resilience.
- You Stand Firm. Whether negotiating with attorneys or setting rules at home, you maintain your stance. Kids can be challenging, but they respect your authority because you are consistent.
- You’ve Grown Stronger Post-Divorce. The experiences you’ve faced have taught you invaluable lessons, and your resilience has only deepened. You can now look back with gratitude for the growth that has emerged from your past.
- You Celebrate Your Achievements. Whether mastering a new hobby or earning a promotion, you recognize your successes and share them with pride, knowing your hard work has paid off.
- You Speak Your Truth. You’re honest about your feelings, even when they’re difficult. When a friend asks how you are, don’t hesitate to share your struggles. Authenticity is one of the greatest acts of bravery in today’s world.
- You Refuse to Play the Victim. No matter how challenging your divorce may have been, you choose not to see yourself as a victim. You understand that heartbreak can lead to personal growth, and you’re focused on moving forward.
- You Demand the Respect You Deserve. After facing challenges in relationships, you’ve learned to recognize when someone is undervaluing you. You insist on being treated the way you deserve, setting the tone for a brighter future.
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In summary, being a fearless single mom is about embracing your strengths, setting your own rules, and prioritizing self-care. It’s a journey of growth and assertiveness that empowers you to redefine your life on your terms.