Navigating conversations about autism can be tricky, especially when someone shares that their child is on the spectrum. Often, instead of offering support, people default to awkward comments or questions. As a parent of a child with autism, I can assure you that these interactions can be challenging, and it’s helpful to know what to avoid saying. Here are some phrases that are best left unsaid:
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“He seems so… typical!”
While I appreciate the sentiment, “typical” is subjective. My child is wonderful just as he is, and I don’t subscribe to the idea of a “normal” standard.
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“Are you positive he has autism?”
Yes, I am certain. We’ve consulted numerous specialists who confirmed his diagnosis. Just because he doesn’t fit every stereotype doesn’t mean he isn’t on the spectrum.
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“What do you think caused his autism?”
We ponder this question ourselves and it often leads to a spiral of self-blame. Ultimately, we focus on supporting him rather than dwelling on the cause.
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“What special abilities does he have?”
Asking this implies that autism comes with a talent show. Each child is unique, and not all have exceptional skills. This question can unintentionally highlight differences in a negative light.
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“Perhaps he just needs more discipline.”
This is a common misconception. Autism is not linked to parenting styles. What may seem like a tantrum could be a sensory meltdown, and we’re doing our best to help him.
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“I try talking to him, but he doesn’t respond. Shouldn’t you check his hearing?”
We’ve already done that. He hears you; he’s just processing things differently. Not all communication is verbal.
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“He might just prefer being alone.”
While he may seem to enjoy solitude, it’s often because social situations can be overwhelming. It can be painful for us to see others assume he prefers isolation.
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“He’s not that difficult.”
I’m not claiming he’s difficult or broken; he simply has autism. Different doesn’t equate to negative.
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“He’ll eat when he’s hungry.”
Not necessarily. Children with autism often have specific sensory preferences that dictate their eating habits. It’s not as straightforward as it sounds.
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“You’re so strong and brave.”
I appreciate the compliment, but my child is the one showing strength every day in his own way.
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“I’m sorry.”
I don’t want your pity. Most days, I’m just navigating life as it comes.
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“Will he always be like this?”
Yes, he will always be autistic, but that doesn’t mean he won’t grow or thrive. He will continue to experience life, love, and joy in his own unique way.
Discussing autism can be daunting for many, but learning about it doesn’t have to be. For further insights, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination or visit this page for expert opinions on related topics. If you’re interested in home insemination, consider exploring our post about artificial insemination kits.
In summary, when engaging with a parent of a child with autism, it’s crucial to be mindful of your words. Not everything needs to be understood or dissected; sometimes, just being there is enough.