There was a time in my life when I was navigating the dating scene extensively — going on numerous dates with various men, none of whom resembled the charming Matthew McConaughey. It was an exhilarating yet somewhat lonely chapter, a way to rediscover myself after divorce and engage in adult conversations that didn’t revolve around toddler mishaps or trivial matters like the latest superhero flicks. However, amidst this dating frenzy, I encountered my fair share of absurd comments that left me both baffled and amused. Here are some of the most memorable ones.
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“You look even better in person than in your profile picture!”
While I appreciate the compliment, did he really need to emphasize his surprise at my appearance? After all, he was the one who swiped right on my profile, so his enthusiasm felt a bit misplaced. Ironically, he looked far less appealing in real life, which set the tone for a rather disastrous date. -
“All my exes are insane. Like, need-a-therapist insane.”
Men, take note: Women don’t buy this. We often find ourselves labeled as “crazy exes” at some point, so if you’re the common thread, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection. This was uttered just moments after he had marveled at my in-person beauty. -
“I think you’re a bit too needy for a second date.”
This was the third (but certainly not the last) faux pas from Mr. Cat-Hair Sweater. As I nursed my drink, he rambled on about his past relationships, and when I pointed out the common denominator, he decided to label me as “needy.” Charming. -
“Should we connect on LinkedIn?”
After deeming me “needy,” he attempted to connect on LinkedIn years later. Nothing screams, “Let’s reminisce about our lovely date!” like a professional networking site. His forgetfulness about our disastrous date was amusing, yet I declined his request with an emphatic “Not a chance!” -
“How do you feel about pain?”
This odd question was posed in a whisper while we were in my car, presumably as a clumsy invitation to his place. It was pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, so he had no excuse for such a bizarre inquiry. I opted to never see him again—his forgetting his wallet twice was painful enough. -
“What’s your stance on men with hair everywhere?”
If you have a clever response, feel free to vocalize it. This question was a real head-scratcher, and he made it clear he wasn’t referring to any grooming preferences. -
“Are you going to write about me on your blog?”
The answer was a resounding no. Instead, I would share my tales on a platform where many women could find humor in the absurdity of dating. Rest assured, I’d also remind them that amidst the craziness, there are fantastic people worth pursuing. -
“When can I meet your son?”
The answer to that was “Never.” At that time, I kept my dating life separate from my parenting. My child didn’t need to meet every guy I shared appetizers with, especially not after one date. If he wanted to know when he could meet my son, he would need to meet my criteria first. -
“You wear a lot of makeup.”
And you’re sporting a velvet blazer, my friend. If first dates are for pointing out the obvious, we’re both doing great. The underlying message should be that I’ll reveal my true self when I’m comfortable—not on a first date. -
“I’ve never met a woman who isn’t looking to get married. What’s your deal?”
Oh, sweet summer child. We didn’t just stroll into a 1950s ball. Women today have the freedom to choose how they live their lives without societal constraints. There’s more to dating than securing a wedding ring. -
“Let’s connect on Facebook!”
How about we see if you’re even a decent kisser first? I had a personal rule about waiting until after ten dates to add anyone to my social media. It helped maintain some privacy, particularly when dealing with men who might take rejection poorly.
In retrospect, these encounters were both ridiculous and enlightening, showcasing the unpredictable nature of dating. Remember, navigating the dating world can be amusing, frustrating, and sometimes downright absurd, but it’s all part of the journey toward finding meaningful connections. For more insights on personal journeys and fertility matters, check out this engaging post on boosting fertility supplements or visit Make a Mom for helpful resources. If you’re navigating unexplained infertility, this article offers valuable information. For further guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, explore this excellent resource.
Summary
Dating can lead to some awkward and bizarre moments as illustrated by these outrageous comments from first dates. From odd questions to unsolicited critiques, these experiences highlight the unpredictability of meeting new people. As you navigate your own dating adventures, remember to keep a sense of humor and stay true to yourself.